Journal: First big change

I have been working on my second draft, making both changes and additions, but the most prominent is that I have just re-written the opening. I'm still not 100% happy with it, as I'd really like to be able to grab the reader's attention so that they keep on reading in as few words as possible. Philip Pulman did it with just 4 in Northern Lights.

I doubt I'll ever be able to do it in three.