Sounds like Amazon UK. Australia doesn't have royal mail.

Kevin Spacey just went and ruined Keyser Soze for me.

Totally agree with this. Free software doesn't always have to mean we all go off and do our own little projects and release them back into the world - but rather we can work together on a single task (like Wayland) to enhance things for everyone.

Another vote here for Mint, or Ubuntu if that appeals to you more. Something like Cinnamon / MATE or even KDE should be easy enough for a Windows person to use. Getting their head around everything else is the problem, like "where is my C: drive??"