I'm not sure what you are talking about, the squad system is right there, it's not hard to get into one or switch to another one.
there is no squad leader, no squad way points, no intrasquad commands
There is a squad leader it has a star next to their name. They can order what to defend and or what to attack, so yes there are intrasquad commands. way points are gone unfortunately, but I don't think anyone was using them.
no squad based VOIP
There is squad based VOIP.
and no commander
The commander abilities are now spread over the several classes. This is better as sometimes the commander wouldn't do anything.
I played on teamplay BF3 servers, made no difference.
I'm not entirely sure what you mean with teamplay servers.. if you are talking about "team deadmatch" then you probably want to stay away from it. Team deadmatch has only one objective, kill the other team. This is usually easier accomplished by doing the run and gun type of play.
Sure BF2 wasn't always a team play game, but it happened if you fell into the right group of folks.
Same with BF3, if you want team play you need the right group of players. This has been a problem with the BF franchise since the BF1942 days and I doubt it's going away ever...