So we should just infect the most brilliant doctors and scientists with AIDS

You also need to infect a lot of rich and powerful people.
I had a friend die of an AIDS related infection a few years back, so I am a little sensitive on this topic.

Damn kids theses days.
Back in my day we had 20 people shareing a Mc Donalds hamburger, because we couldn't afford fancy things like cheeze.

Replace the mouse with a trackball. There's a tendency with a mouse to move your wrist - you're not meant to do this, you're meant to use your whole arm. But I don't know anyone who does. It'll take you a few days to get used to, after which you'll never use a mouse again.

This. I have a MS trackball explorer at home, that I will use until it dies. I am not a fan of MS products, but that trackball is the best I have ever used. Too bad they stopped making them.
At work I use a Logitech cordless optical trackman, that is almost as good, but personally I wish it wasn't wireless.
What I really like is the Ball under my fingers, thumb for left click, index finger for scrolling. It is getting hard to find.

You forgot about 'renum'
http://www.antonis.de/qbebooks/gwbasman/renum.html

Damn I feel old for remembering that.

A simple wireless enabled butt plug

We truly do live in an age of wonders.
Any idea where I can order one of these? It's for a friend... Honest.

I have been thinking about blocking Slashdot. I bet even my own productivity would go up.

I can make spelling mistakes on any platform.
Also I used to think Lawyers were the lowest form of life. Now, I know that spelling Nazis are the lowest form of life.

There are plenty of people who can do everything they use a computer for on a tablet. I would guess most of those people are not on /.
For example my mother and sister, both use their computers for email, facebook, a little research, some cheezy games (Solitaire) and that is pretty much it.

All of that can easily be done on a cheep tablet.

Personally I will keep my laptop with a keyboard, but even I do most of my email on my Nexus 7 these days.

That rain water is full of pollution. I suggest in the interest of your safety, you stick with the grain alcohol from now on.

IBM Monochrome Display Adapter, damn young people...
Get off my lawn.
My first IBM compatible, which was my 4th computer, had MDA. Later I upgraded to a Hercules Graphics Card.
Nothing beats MDA, or Hercules, for pure text beauty.

Boo freaking hoo. Adapt.

You are an idiot!
Next time know what you are talking about before you start typing.
From the Canadian mint website. The cost to phase out the penny is 37M, with as saving of 11M a year.
In only 4 years there is a profit.

This is an example of US government stupidity. All they have to do is stop making $1 bills. The rest will take care of itself.
In Canada the banks were told to collect $1 bills and turn them over to the mint. It took about a year for the $1 bill to disappear.

Why the transaction will ALWAYS be in the merchant's favor of course!

I really doubt this will happen. For the 3 to 4 cents you might gain it is just not worth the risk that someone might pull out their phone, calculate it and throw a major fit in your store. Even if no one ever throws a fit, word will get around, (See internet) and people will simply not shop at retailers who do this.
I usually have very little faith in people, but in this case I will tend to believe in honesty.

Did you miss the part where it said purchases would be rounded to the nearest nickle?
As a Canadian I can tell you that the pennies will disappear quickly, because the banks have been told to collect them.
The place I get my morning breakfast has already started rounding to the nearest nickle. My breakfast comes to $3.66 total, and I am always asked for $3.65

I for one, say "About bloody time!"