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Science

Journal Journal: Rectal Foreign Bodies

Rectal Foreign Bodies'Rectal Foreign Bodies' -- from Surgery Magazine (1986)

Collated by Drs. David B. Busch and James R. Starling, Madison, Wis.

The surgical management of two patients presenting with incarcerated, apparently self-inserted foreign bodies is reported. The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed, with tabulation of 182 previous cases by type and number of objects recovered and with a discussion of patients' age distribution, history, complications and prognosis.

Table I Previously reported recovered foreign bodies:

[ed. note: list has been appended to reflect recently found documentation.]

Object Number Recovered

Glass or ceramic
Bottle or jar 31
Bottle with attached rope 1
Glass or cup12
Light bulb 7
Tube 6
Food
Apple 1
Banana 2
Carrot 4
Cucumber 3
Onion 2
Parsnip 1
Plantain (with condom) 1
Potato 1
Salami 1
Turnip 1
Zucchini 2
Wooden
Ax handle 1
Stick or broom handle 10
Miscellaneous or unspecified 3
Sexual Device
Vibrator23* [slashdot.org]
Dildo 15
Kitchen device
Dull knife 1
Ice pick 1
Knife sharpener 1
Mortar pestle2
Spatula (plastic) 1
Spoon 1
Tin cup 1
Miscellaneous tools
Candle 1
Curling Iron [well.com] 1
Flashlight 3
Iron rod 1
Pen 2
Rubber tube [infobahn.com] 1
Screwdriver 1
Toothbrush 1
Wire spring 1
Inflated device
Balloon 1
Balloon attached to cylinder 1
Condom 1
Ball
Baseball 2
Tennis ball 1
Pool cue ball1
Miscellaneous containers
Baby powder can 1
Candle box 1
Shampoo Bottle 1
Snuff box 1
Miscellaneous
Bottle cap **1
Cattle horn 3
Chain (gold) 1
Frozen pig's tail 1
'Kangaroo tumor' # 1
Hair Mousse Cap 1
Plastic rod 1
Stone 2
Toothbrush holder 1
Toothbrush package 1
Whip handle2* [slashdot.org]
Collections (one case of each)
2 Glass tubes
72 1/2 Jeweler's saw
Oil can with potato stopper
Piece of wood, peanut
Umbrella handle and enema tubing
2 Glasses
Phosphorus match ends (homicide)
402 Stones
Toolbox ##
2 Bars soap
Beer glass and preserving pot
Lemon and cold cream jar
2 Apples
Spectacles, suitcase key, tobacco pouch, and magazine
total of 14 collections, with approximately 500 objects

  • * number may be larger (text unclear)
    ** cannot exclude ingestion
    # unique case of pedunculated perianal skin tumor habitually
    inserted into rectum
    ## inside a convict; contained saws and other items usable
    in escape attempts.

CASE REPORTS

Case 1. A 39-year-old married white male lawyer presented with a self- inserted perfume bottle in his rectum that he was unable to remove using various objects, including a back scratcher. He had inserted this bottle on previous occasions. Edema of the rectum and sigmoid colon precluded the successful manual removal of the object in the emergency room. A pelvic x-ray film showed the object to be lodged 12 cm proximal to the dentate line. The 3 by 17 cm object, 'Impulse Body Spray,' was removed manually after a spinal anesthetic. The patient was discharged on the second postoperative day. He refused psychologic counseling.

Case 2. A 39-year-old white male was admitted to the University Hospital psychiatric service for evaluation of a 2-week history of bloody diarrhea and auditory hallucinations. Rectal examination revealed a foreign body approximately 3 cm above the anal verge. An x- ray film showed that it was 20 cm in length. The object could not be removed by manual or endoscopic means. The patient consented to extraction of the dildo under general anesthetic. Biopsy specimens of the hemorrhagic rectal mucosa were performed and were negative on Ziehl-Neelson stains for mycobacterial or cryptosporidium infection. The patient was discharged without complications the following day.

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thanx to Kelvin Lau Paul Spinrad's 'Joseph Pujol, The Fartiste' So ISlipped in the Shower Annie D's'Using the word 'butt' in any sentence' pageThe100-Watt Bulb and the Bottle of Whiskey The Chronicles of Mistybutt I Took the Call--Anecdotes Butt Pirates of the Caribbean

Science

Journal Journal: Bible is conservative <--WRONG!!!

Myth: The Bible is conservative.

Fact: Using the Bible to support any political ideology is highly problematic.

Summary

The New Testament is a liberal's paradise; almost every principle espoused in it is one that liberals -- not conservatives -- espouse today. (The only exceptions are its pronouncements on divorce, sexuality and slavery.) The Old Testament, however, is a conservative haven, filled with pronouncements favoring war, slavery, theocracy, monarchy, wealth accumulation, capital punishment, extreme female submission and more. Interestingly, however, the Old Testament is sexually permissive. Attempting to use the Bible to justify their modern beliefs therefore poses significant challenges to Christian conservatives.

Argument

Does the Bible really espouse conservative philosophies?

Let us briefly run through the politics of the religious right, just so the comparison will be fresh in our memory. Christian conservatives believe firmly in God, country and family. Self-sufficiency and rugged individualism are highly esteemed qualities; people should pull themselves up their own bootstraps. Becoming rich is a keen goal and almost universally admired. Taxes are seen as a curse. Social programs for the poor are a waste of tax-payers' money, and the sort of people on those programs (mostly blacks) are lazy and given to crime. As for criminals, they should feel the full force of the law. And that goes for international criminals as well... a nation should deal with its enemies from a position of strength, and should never be afraid to let them feel the full force of its military might.

Were these the politics of Jesus? Let's take a look:

On defense: Jesus said "Love your enemies" and "Blessed are the peacemakers." "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." (Matthew 5:44; 5:9; 5:39.)

On social programs: "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven." (Matthew 19:21.)

On rugged individualism and the pursuit of self-interest: "Love your neighbor as yourself." "So in everything, do to others as you would have them do to you." (Matthew 22:39; 7:12.)

On financial success: "Truly, I say unto you, it will be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven." "You cannot serve both God and Money." (Matthew 19:23; 6:24.)

On the philosophy that "greed is good": "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." (Luke 12:15.)

On paying taxes: "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's." (Matthew 22:22.)

On crime and punishment: "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (John 8:7; Matthew 7:1,2.)

On climbing the social ladder: "The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Behold, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!'" (Matthew 11:19.)

On money-hungry televangelists: "In the temple courts [Jesus] found men selling cattle, sheep and doves, and other sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables." (John 2:14,15.)

On the free lunch: "Taking the five loaves and two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves... The number of those who ate was about five thousand men..." (Matthew 14:19,21.)

On the perks and privileges of power: "After that, [Jesus] poured water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him." (John 13:5.)

On moral absolutes: "If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out?" "The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath." (Matthew 12:11; Mark 2:27.)

On family: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters - yes, even his own life - he cannot be my disciple." Also: "'Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?' Pointing to his disciples, he said, 'Here are my mother and my brothers.'" (Luke 14:26; Matthew 12:48,49.)

On race relations: In the parable of the Good Samaritan, Jesus praised the morality of a hated foreigner over his own countrymen. (Luke 10:30-37.)

On the superiority of one's native country: "These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: 'Do not go among the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel.'" (Matthew 10:5,6.)

On letting others pull themselves up by their own bootstraps: "But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous." (Luke 14:13,14.)

Modern Christian conservatives may be horrified, but there is no getting around the fact: Jesus was not just a liberal, but a radical liberal! In fact, except for one pronouncement on divorce, there is not one text in all four Gospels which even remotely supports or resembles the conservative's most cherished beliefs. It is a standing challenge to the religious right to find a list of Gospel texts, as I have provided here, which advocates the conservative's philosophies. Not one Christian can give a single example, because these texts do not exist.

And if anyone remains unconvinced about the deep liberal slant of Jesus and the early Christian Church, a review of their economic policies should remove all doubt forever. The early Christian Church actually serves as history's second example of pure communism! (The first was the Essenes, who wrote the Dead Sea Scrolls.) In Paul's Christian Church, the fruits of everyone's labor went into a collective pool, which was then divided evenly among everyone in the group. The following passages from Acts of the Apostles are remarkable in this description:
  • "All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need." (Acts 2:44-45).

    "All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had... There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need." (Acts 4:32,34,35)

The New Testament itself is filled with countless calls for a redistribution of wealth from the rich to the poor. As for the rich, they are clearly portrayed as wicked; both Jesus and his apostles condemned them in the harshest terms possible:

  • "But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry." (Luke 6:24,25)

    "Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (Luke 18:25)

    "People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all evil." (1 Timothy 6:9,10)

    "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share." (1 Timothy 6:17,18)

    "Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who loved him? But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong?" (James 2:5-7)

    "Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourself in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you." (James 5:1-6)

Giving to the poor was not just an act of kindness, it was a Christian duty, and Paul ended his letters with a reminder to send money to the poor in Jerusalem. It was this identification with the poor that led them to attack usury, or the loaning of money for interest, in the bitterest terms, for this was seen as exploitation of the poor. In the end, one cannot read the New Testament and escape the conclusion that the Early Christian Church condemned inequality of wealth as one of the greatest of human sins.

These observations are a disaster for conservatives who try to use the Bible as moral authority for their political opinions. I have had only a few Christians even try to defend them. I present you with the few counter-arguments I have received:

Jesus came across as radical because he was affecting radical change. True, but you can agree with this observation completely and still not lose sight of the fact that the changes Jesus called for are quite liberal by today's standards.

Jesus was simply representing the positive side of God's message, namely, his love, mercy and forgiveness; it was left to the apostles to describe God's judgment and wrath against sinners. But even in the later books of the New Testament, you cannot find support for such conservative beliefs as a strong national defense, the superiority of one's own people, tax-cuts for the rich, the pursuit of wealth, or the abolition of welfare programs for the poor. These ideas are still strongly condemned. But, to be truthful, there are two issues which the apostles later developed in the New Testament which could be construed as conservative. The first is a profound anti-sexual theme which was not common among Israel (the Jews were quite liberal about sex, as we shall see below); but this anti-sexual bias ran deep throughout the Greek world of Paul's time, where Christianity was to thrive. The second was the apostles' acceptance of slavery. I somehow doubt Christians will be eager to use this latter example.

Times were different in Jesus day; today we have a different economic and social system. With this argument, conservatives abandon their source of authority. To say that Jesus represented his own time is to say that his words do not matter any more. It means that conservatives cannot use the Bible as the moral authority for their modern viewpoints. They may admit that their political views are based on their own logic and reason, but they must stop there, and cease to claim that these views come from the New Testament, because they do not.

The Old Testament is filled with philosophies that conservatives agree with today. This is, in fact, the most common conservative defense. From the condemnation of homosexuals to the praise of wealth and national defense, the Old Testament is indeed a conservative's paradise. And Jesus himself said "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." (Matthew 5:17.) But this argument fails on a single point. If the Old Testament were still valid, we would still be obeying it. That is, Christians would still be bringing doves into the temple for slaughter upon the altar. We would still be sinning for planting two different crops in the same field, or wearing two different fabrics at once. Even the least educated Christian knows that a profound difference occurred at the cross, and that a different set of rules came into play. Those rules can be found in the New Testament, and they are overwhelmingly liberal.

Even so, falling back on the Old Testament often backfires for Christian Conservatives. The problem is that the Old Testament goes too far to the right. The Old Testament was not only undemocratic, it featured a monarchy. (1 Samuel 8.) Social inequality not only existed, but was embodied in slavery. In fact, it was legal to beat slaves so severely that they could not get up for a day or two. (Exodus 21:21.) Children were not only expected to respect their parents; their parents could legally kill them if they didn't. (Deuteronomy 21:18-21.) Women not only had a submissive and inferior status to men, they were considered chattel. (Genesis 3:16, Exodus 21:7-11, Numbers 30.) God not only ordered Israel to initiate wars of aggression, but ordered Israel to kill all captive men and non-virgin women, and to bring the virgin women into sexual slavery. (Deuteronomy 7:1,2, Numbers 31.) God even ordered the suckling infants of the enemy to be massacred. (1 Samuel 15:3.)

Interestingly, there is one area of the Old Testament that runs diametrically opposed to the conservative's most cherished values: sexuality. Of course, many conservatives frequently cite the Old Testament laws against incest, homosexuality and bestiality (Leviticus 18:6,22,23). But in almost all other sexual matters, the Old Testament is really quite permissive. There were no laws prohibiting pre-marital and non-marital sex, and only a few stipulations to this liberty were explicitly stated. One was that if a man seduces a virgin, he must pay a bride-price and marry her. (Exodus 22:16.) However, the law says nothing about non-virgins, including divorced or widowed women. Also, a wife found guilty of adultery could be stoned to death along with her lover. (Deuteronomy 22:22.) However, no law prevented a married man from carrying on with as many affairs as he pleased, as long as they were not with other men's wives. For a man, divorce was both legal and easy to obtain, if for no other reason that she displeased him. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4.) Prostitution was illegal for Jewish women, but it was permitted for foreigners. (Deuteronomy 23:17.) However, many Jewish women became prostitutes as well. The practice was widely tolerated by the authorities, and considering how many scriptural warnings were voiced against harlots, it is clear they did a thriving business.

If Christian conservatives find all this alarming, it gets worse. Polygamy was not only allowed, but King Solomon's 700 wives and 300 concubines were recorded as a matter of national pride. (1 Kings 11:3.) Concubines served the role of secondary wives; they were often, but not necessarily, purchased servants. As for purchased female servants, male masters were allowed to have sex with them (Exodus 21:7-11), a practice which Christians defend by claiming that the rights of these slaves were "well-regulated." (!) If a male soldier found a female captive to be attractive, he could force marriage, and therefore sexual relations, on her. (Deuteronomy 21:10-14.) In modern society, this is called rape.

Except for a distinct misogyny and homophobia, the ancient Jews were generally free of sexual repression. Like most cultures and religions of the world, they celebrated heterosexual pleasure as a gift from God. This positive view is reflected in Song of Songs, an erotic poem that even becomes sexually explicit:

  • "Listen! My lover is knocking: 'Open to me, my sister, my darling...' I have taken off my robe -- must I put it on again?... My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. I arose to open for my lover, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the lock, I opened for my lover..." (Song of Songs 5:2-6)

The sexual double entendre here is obvious, and has been the source of embarrassment and controversy to Christians for almost 2,000 years. The standard disclaimer is that the author was really describing God's relationship to his people, a view that even the ancient rabbinic scholars taught. But this is still an embarrassment to the sexually repressed philosophies of Christian conservatives, given the overtly sexual nature of the poem. What is more likely is that the author was engaging in the sort of double entendre that often occurred in ancient Jewish writings. Many of their stories and parables having second meanings, just as many of their character's names are actually puns in Hebrew. It seems that the author of the above poem was engaging in this tradition: writing erotica under the guise of religious metaphor.

Rabbinical scholars also taught that both men and women had a right to receive sexual pleasure in marriage.

Jesus did not seem bent on fundamentally reforming Jewish law and culture on sex and marriage. His only statement on the subject was that it was wrong for a man to divorce his wife for any reason, not just adultery. (Matthew 5:31,32, Luke 16:18). It is easy to see the Jewish context in which Jesus was arguing, and that he was only concerned about refining the existing law, not revolutionizing it. (However, Jesus also mentions in Mark 10:12 that a woman cannot divorce her husband and marry another man without committing adultery. Controversy surrounds the point of whether the woman in this case is the initiator of divorce, or merely has been divorced.)

So where did the sexual repression of the New Testament come from? It first surfaces in the writings of Paul, and worsens with the other apostles. That is because these writers generally come from the Greek world, where the anti-sexual philosophies of Greek Stoicism were dominant. Paul was born and raised in Tarsus, an important Greek trading port which was also the birthplace of two famous Stoic philosophers and the site of several excellent Greek schools. Christianity failed to take root in Israel, but it flourished in the Greco-Roman empire. As this new religion swept through that region, it absorbed the anti-sexual tenets of Greek philosophy and then spread them wherever the Christian empire spread, even to the shores of America. Those familiar with this history know that it is horrific; the Church Father Origen, for example, castrated himself in his fear that sexual temptation would deprive him of the kingdom of heaven. And women -- the purveyors of sexual evil -- were so vilified under Christian doctrine that the Inquisition tortured and murdered them for two centuries as "witches". For these reasons, European and American history is filled with a sexual repression and guilt that is unmatched anywhere in the world.

In summary, both the Old and New Testaments offer profound challenges to modern Christian conservatives who wish to quote the Bible as the basis of their political beliefs.

Christmas Cheer

Journal Journal: alt.sex.plushies Frequently Asked Questions 2

ADVISORY -- ADULTS ONLY

The following text contains descriptions of erotic acts with plush stuffed animals ('plushies'). If you are a minor, or if you believe you may be offended by descriptions of eroticism with plush stuffed animals, please stop reading this text now.

Welcome to alt.sex.plushies!

alt.sex.plushies Frequently Asked Questions Version 3.1

(last revised 30 November 1999)

Table Of Contents:

    1) What is 'alt.sex.plushies'?
    2) What is a 'plushie'? What is a 'plushophile'?
    3) What is a 'fursuit'?
    4) What kinds of subjects are discussed on alt.sex.plushies?
    5) How do people really feel about their plush companions?
    6) Why be intimate with plushies instead of with people?
    7) Just what exactly do people do with plushies, anyway?
    8) I think I'd like to explore this. How should I begin?
    9) Am I welcome here if I like plushies but don't have sex with them?
10) Why is there so little traffic on this newsgroup?
11) What other plushie newsgroups are on the net?
12) Are there any plushie web sites I can browse?
13) Are there fursuit web sites I can browse, too?
14) I've seen some unusual terms used here. What do they all mean?
15) What is the 'Plush Code'?
16) How can I clean a plushie?
17) How can I modify a plushie?
18) Where can I buy plushies on the net?

1) What is 'alt.sex.plushies'?

'alt.sex.plushies' is a newsgroup for adults who have special personal
feelings for plush stuffed animals (and plush puppets, too). It's
also a place where people talk about 'fursuits'. alt.sex.plushies was
newgrouped on August 9, 1994.

2) What is a 'plushie'? What is a 'plushophile'?

A 'plushie' is a plush stuffed animal, like a teddy bear. 'Plushie'
is also sometimes used as a short form for 'plushophile': an adult
who loves or is otherwise attracted to stuffed animals.

3) What is a 'fursuit'?

This is a full-body costume that makes the wearer look like a favorite
animal, or an animal character. Costumes like this are commonly seen
being worn by staff members at amusement parks dressing up as popular
cartoon characters. They're also seen at sporting events where the
team has a mascot in a costume. Since a person in a fursuit looks
(and feels) a lot like a 'living plushie', such costumes are
understandably popular with some plushophiles. Several of us here
have made or bought our own animal costumes.

4) What kinds of subjects are discussed on alt.sex.plushies?

Many people assume that the group is just for talking about sex,
sexual techniques, and ways to modify plushies to use them for sex.
While these subjects certainly all come up, they are far from the
only things that are discussed here. Some other topics that arise
are what kinds of plushies people have, what they look like, where to
buy them, how to make fursuits and other kinds of costumes, what kind
of plushie gatherings are coming up, and just plain conversation
between friends. alt.sex.plushies is a small, friendly group, and
nobody minds if a discussion drifts a bit away from the subject of
plushies now and then. About the only things that are unwelcome are
binary posts, and the SPAM advertisements that flood the whole
alt.sex.* hierarchy.

5) How do people really feel about their plush companions?

While most plushophiles probably feel at least some degree of affection
for their plushies, the ways they express it depend on the individual.
Some may view their plushies as just sex toys, while other plushophiles
love, even venerate their stuffed animals.

6) Why be intimate with plushies instead of with people?

You don't have to choose between one or the other - you can have both
plush and human partners at the same time - but the great thing about
stuffed animals is that they can always be there for you, whenever you
feel the need for intimacy. People can be 'too busy', 'too tired' or
'have a headache', but a plushie will never say 'No!' when you crave
closeness. Stuffed animals can be truly ideal companions. No plush
partner will ever break your heart, give you a disease, or hurt you in
any way. Plushies can bring pure, unfettered happiness into your life,
and if you're open to it, wonderful sensual experiences, as well.

7) Just what exactly do people do with plushies, anyway?

Probably the most common thing plushophiles do with their plushies is
to simply cuddle them. Many of us sleep with our stuffed animals, as
well. Concerning plush sex, two common methods are to hug a plushie
while pleasuring oneself, and to rub against the fur of the plushie
until achieving orgasm. Some people modify their plushies to form a
space for penetration. This can be as simple as an opened seam, or a
more elaborate insert can be constructed. People can also modify a
plushie with a penis-like attachment. Some plushophiles have such
strong feelings for plushies that they can make themselves peak just
by looking at one, or just sniffing its scent. Many other fetishes
can easily be combined with plush sex, as well. Also, you can involve
human partners with plush. Rubbing a plushie against a sex partner's
body is nice, as is 'sandwiching' a partner's body between yours and a
large plushie (or sandwiching the plushie), or frolicking with your
partner in a big pile of plush. The potential ways to use plushies
are really limited solely by the imagination. Indulge freely in your
fancies!

8) I think I'd like to explore this. How should I begin?

First and most importantly, find a stuffed animal that appeals to you
in a very personal way. It may take time, but eventually you'll find
one that's irresistible. If you currently have a stuffed animal that
you've got special feelings for, chances are you've already expressed
those emotions in some intimate manner. In general, probably the best
way to learn about plush love is to take your special plushie to bed
with you, and just cuddle at first. That might be as far as you want
to go, but if the sensations of softness, warmth and closeness bring
on arousal, simply follow your instincts. You'll find that plushies
make very nice love partners. They will gladly do anything you want
and any time you feel like it, so you can totally set your own pace.
Just start with cuddling, and sleeping with your special plushie(s),
and in time, you will learn all the Joys Of Plush(tm) for yourself.

9) Am I welcome here if I like plushies but don't have sex with them?

Certainly! Many of the posters here collect plushies for their
appearance, because they love animals, or various other non-sexual
reasons. There are plenty of things plush collectors can and do
discuss here, whether they are into sexual uses for plushies or not.
Please feel free to join such discussions or start new ones, and just
skip over any other topics that don't interest you. You'll find that
the majority of discussions here are actually not sexual, only a
minority of them are.

10) Why is there so little traffic on this newsgroup?

A lot of people stopped posting to alt.sex.plushies when the SPAM
advertisements flooded the group. a.s.p isn't completely dead, though.
Many of us still monitor the group for on-topic posts, and newcomers
are always welcome. Don't let the SPAM discourage you from joining us!
If you do post to a.s.p, though, *make sure* your Subject: line starts
with a tag like 'PLUSH:'. Most of us have filters that kill posts
whose Subject: line doesn't contain the word 'plush' or 'plushies'.

11) What other plushie newsgroups are on the net?

These Usenet newsgroups are devoted to stuffed animals, too:
alt.fan.plushies
alt.collecting.teddy-bears
alt.collecting.beanie-babies
alt.collecting.beanie-babies.forsale
alt.collecting.beanie-babies.uk

Plushie pictures can be posted to:
alt.binaries.pictures.plushies
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.plushies
alt.binaries.erotica.beanie-babies

Also, 'alt.lifestyle.furry' is a 'furry' newsgroup where plushophilia
is on-topic, and 'de.alt.fan.pluesch' is a German plushie NG.

12) Are there any plushie web sites I can browse?

Of course! Here are a few for starters:

FoxWolfie Galen's Furry Plushie Page
http://velocity.net/~galen/
(Established in April 1994 - probably the first adult plushie page)

Max's Plushie Page
http://www.sonic.net/~maxi/plush.html

Plush Central
http://www.personal.isat.com/captpackrat/plush/
(Home of the plushieRing)

W e bKitty's Plushies Page
http://www2.hawaii.edu/~mivillan/plushies.html
(Discover 25 reasons why stuffed animals are better than men!)

BlayZe BrightScale's Page
http://come.to/blayze/

>From any of these sites, you can follow the 'PlushieRing' to a number
of other plush-lovers' webpages.

'Plushie Fandom!' is a message board and chat forum for plushophiles
on the World Wide Web. Come join us at:
http://www.delphi.com/plushie_fandom

13) Are there fursuit web sites I can browse, too?

One of the most comprehensive webpages on fursuits is at:
http://www.best.com/~nico/fursuit.cgi
There you will find links to many other fursuit-related webpages.

14) I've seen some unusual terms used here. What do they all mean?

We plushies have come up with a lot of unique jargon over the years.
You can look up the meaning of just about any word or abbreviation we
use at:
http://velocity.net/~galen/plushlex.txt

15) What is the 'Plush Code'?

It's a categorical code of letters and symbols that's used to summarize
ones personal plush preferences. The key to translate someone's Plush
Code can be found at:
http://velocity.net/~galen/plushcod.txt

16) How can I clean a plushie?

This subject is worthy of a FAQ by itself. It's a complex question,
not only because many stuffed animals have individual qualities that
require different approaches to cleaning, but also because it seems
most of us have different ideas about how to clean our plush friends.
As for myself, I think the best way to keep a stuffed animal clean is
to try not to get it dirty in the first place. Most importantly, I
always make sure *I* am clean before I handle or snuggle my plushies,
because inevitably, whatever grime is on my hands, clothes, or body is
going to end up in my cuddlemate's plush. Dirt, dust, body oil, sweat,
skin flakes, hair, lint, even the smoky fallout from one's kitchen -
all these foreign substances will accumulate in a plushie's fur over
time, and getting them out - especially if the fur has become tangled
or matted - can be a major chore. Since most stuffed animals are
'limited editions' which years from now won't be replaceable, keeping
a favorite plushie clean is crucial to prolonging its life.

On a week-to-week basis, the best thing to do for a regularly-cuddled
plushie is to give it a good thorough combing. This will minimize the
tendency for the fur to get tangled and matted. Plush that you have
around the house just for display purposes should be combed at least
once monthly to get the dust out of their fur. Make sure to use a comb
that is dedicated solely for the purpose of grooming your plushies,
though. Anything that is on a comb will work its way into a plushie's
fur, too, and you definitely don't want to get scalp oils, dander, or
the residue of styling gunk embedded into a stuffed animal's plush.

For simple clean-ups, there is an excellent commercial product called
'Bubble G u n d' that works wonders on plush that is moderately soiled.
Spray lightly onto the soiled area, rub it into the plush with a clean
dry towel, let it dry thoroughly, then buff the fur briskly with
another clean dry towel. The results are usually quite pleasing.

Sometimes, however, radical surgery is required to clean a seriously
dirty plushie. This should only be done, though, if you're skilled in
the art of sewing. Undo enough of the seams to completely remove the
stuffing, then hand-wash the plush 'skin' in a dilute solution of a
mild detergent like Woolite. After you're done with the hand-washing,
dry the fur by hand, as well. Re-stuff the plushie using only fresh
new Poly-fil (available at most arts and crafts stores), and re-sew.

Be aware that semen or vaginal fluid can mar plush fur if it's left to
dry untreated. If this concerns you, be sure to comb and dry the fur
thoroughly right after sex, and untangle all the stuck-together plush.
If the sexual fluid has already dried, re-moisten it with a damp
cloth, and then untangle the plush.

Whatever method you choose to clean a plushie, try to avoid soaking the
inner stuffing. Some stuffed animals are indeed made to be machine
washable, but most are not, and getting the stuffing wet will at best
make a plushie undesirably lumpy inside, and at worst, ruin it by
encouraging the internal growth of mold and mildew rot.

17) How can I modify a plushie?

As alluded to above, there are two principal ways people may modify
plushies for sex. One is to form a space for penetration. This type
of modification is called a 'strategically-placed hole' (SPH). The
other basic type of modification is to give a plushie a maleness, for
receptive sex, or simply for anatomical correctness. This is called
a 'strategically-placed appendage' (SPA). The specific techniques of
how to create these modifications are really beyond the scope of this
FAQ, however. If you have questions about mods, though, post them to
the group, and someone will likely know where or to whom to direct you.

18) Where can I buy plushies on the net?

This FAQ used to include a list of plushie resources on the Internet,
but it became too much work to keep it updated. If you'd like to view
this list, go to one of the three sites below, but bear in mind that
each of the new hosts have permission to modify the resources list as
they wish, so the info available at these sites may differ.

http://velocity.net/~galen/sources.html (or */sources.txt)
http://www.spottycat.com/marlos/plushres.html (includes updated info
        for Canadian plushie resources)
http://www.sonic.net/~maxi/plushres.txt

News

Journal Journal: CmdrTaco Raids Young Tender Assholes in 27 Cities

Posted by chrisd on Tuesday December 11, @08:22PM
from the no-mention-of-peg-legs-and-eye-patches dept.
akiaki007 was among many who wrote in to say: "Check out this article on the New York Times(free reg, blah blah) site. The CmdrTaco have raided 27 cities in 21 states. Raid sites include MIT, UCLA , Purdue, Duke, UofO, all hot-beds of young tender assholes. Their main target was the group DrinkOrDie, an asshole appreciation club. 'This is a new frontier for crime,' Kenneth W. Dam, deputy secretary of the Treasury, said at a news briefing. 'The costs are enormous to both industry and consumers.' I better hide my asshole. They might think it's some weird fucking tool."
Science

Journal Journal: HOWTO Sex A Small Mammal

How to Sex Small Mammals

Quit snickering! Figuring out the gender of a hamster, guinea pig, or other small mammal who comes into your shelter is no laughing matter. After all, if your little tenants get busy lovin', it can result in even more unwanted small pets, and pretty soon your shelter will look like a Little-Critter Free-Love Commune. When examining creatures this small, it's all in the details. Read on to find out how you can easily tell the boys from the girls.

1. Determining Gerbil Gender
You can sex a gerbil starting at the age of four to six weeks by peering at the animal's underside. To minimize stress on the animal and also make handling easier, place the gerbil in a large clear box to search for a pair of large testicles; if you spot them, you've got your answer to the gender question. Since the sexual and urinary openings of female gerbils is much less obvious to the naked eye, it helps to look for small nipples on the underside. Still stumped? The distance between sexual and anal organs is longer on the male than it is on the female.

2. Holding Off Hamster Hanky-Panky
Using the clear box trick, look for large testicles on the underside of the hamster. In males, there will also be a bigger gap between the urinary and anal openings. The perineal area (or the area between the genitals and the anus) comes to a point at the base of the tail in females, but this area looks more rounded in males.

3. Is This Mickey or Minnie Mouse?
As with the other small mammals, the distance between the anus and genitals of mice is longer in males. In addition to the closer spacing, female mice have a small teardrop-shaped vagina extending down from the anus. Both openings are very close together and appear to be connected. Female mice also have two rows of nipples running vertically down their bellies.

4. Playing Rat Roulette
Since you don't want to say, "Oh, rats," after making a mistake in gender distinction, remember that male rats have a stronger odor than female rats. As with other rodents, male rats have a greater distance between sexual and anal openings, and their testicles are no shrinking violets.

5. No Guinea Pig Guessing
Male guinea pigs have obvious scrotal pouches and large testes. The sexual organ of a male guinea pig will look more like a belly button right above the anal opening. Very little space separates these parts; if you are looking at a young guinea pig, gentle manual pressure can help you distinguish between them. The organs of female guinea pigs are also close together and look something like the letter "Y"; this Y-shaped depression can be seen even in immature females.

6. Making Rabbit Rulings
Figuring out the sex of young rabbits can be tricky, but it gets a little easier as they mature to about 10 weeks old or so. Put your hand under the rabbit and feel around for furry testicles; keep in mind that testicles in rabbits move freely from the scrotum to the abdomen. On male rabbits, you will also see a tubular protrusion, whereas the female reproductive area will simply look more like a slit even when pressure is applied.

Animal Sheltering, Jul-Aug 2000 Issue

Star Wars Prequels

Journal Journal: I DO IT WRONG!!! (Revised)

I do it wrong

Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.

Massaging my nutsack she....

WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!

Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]

"OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"

"Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"

I DO IT WRONG!!!!

I continue to hump her alabaster form. Glistening with beads of sweat, she bites her lip in delight as I tear her ass open with my engorged dick.

"Queen Amidala!!" I shreik as I near climax.

She looks up at me and screams, "You are so alive in me, unlike *BSD or VA Software!!! Fill me with seed!! Yes, Yes, Yess!!!!"

"For me you are calling, hhhmmm?"

"YODA?!? What the fuck, can't you see I am using the force here?"

He savagely kicks my Natalie aside, he pulls out his large green penis and impales me...

I DO IT WRONG!!

All your sporkz are belong to the dead homiez!!

Star Wars Prequels

Journal Journal: I DO IT WRONG!!!

I do it wrong

Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.

Massaging my nutsack she....

WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!

Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass.

"OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"

"Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"

I DO IT WRONG!!!!

It's funny.  Laugh.

Journal Journal: Trolling for Chuy

It is a well known fact that Jesus, AKA the Lord, OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR, Son of God, Chuy, etc... Was in fact a troll. This whole turn the other cheek thing, for example is a fairly obvious troll. If only they had a moderation system in the first few years of the common era, this could have been mod'd out of our view.

There are other examples of Jesus trolling his disciples. Stopping the flow of blood for that old lady, for example. He invented the tampax, and trolled it as a miracle. The list could surely continue.

In conclussion, let us all make WWJD our mantra. Let us troll for Jesus.

---
ADDENDUM: This troll has been mod'd up (+1 Funny), this is a scary world we live in!

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