Well, presumably they wouldn't build the battery with the HIV or influenza virus in it. Unless, of course, Energizer is feeling especially cruel.

Data from Star Trek had an off switch and he turned okay.

When it develops its own hypothesis and after extensive testing and discovers it's wrong, will it feel bad?

We won't have to. The machines will call you with a calm message asking you to stay indoors.

Somehow I knew the first "Intelligent" robots would be gay. I just didn't suspect so soon. CP30 must be right around the corner.

It's simple math people. He simply chops off one of his fingers. Theoretically, he can count to -5

I don't know. It surprised me that the Dalai Lama even used computers. But if he did, they'd probably are Macs. He just seems like that kind of guy

The man is a fool to ignore the warnings of Al Gore. When man-bear-pig comes to get him, I doubt Gore will do much to help.

I'm not a physicist, so there's a lot I don't understand. For something to go over 100mph powered only by wind, wouln't the wind itself have to be over 100mph as well?

How do you go faster than the force that is propelling you?

What, like land speed records for bigwheels?

Robots can not feel physical pain. They do, however, experience emotional pain. And that is the real reason why they're dangerous

That's why I carry around a pneumatic punch wherever I go. When people ask me what's it for, I tell them "to painless kill peopl...er, lobsters"

That got me to thinking. If crabs experience pain, it's presumable that the pain response could be used for behavior modification, which ultimately could lead to domestication.

Who's that? Oh, that's Crabby the Crab, our latest pet. We're still house breaking him. That shock collar around his neck, that's for when he tries to escape or when he tries to "make crab juice" on the living room rug. We love Crabby, and we are not looking forward to the day when he gets too old, has to be put down, and eaten. He is, by the way, available for stud services.

Only Superman can save us now! Wait, no. He probably wouldn't fight for R rated movies.

Only Batman can save us now!

You forgot the third option: Maybe the machines will keep us as pets. Which, really, wouldn't be all that bad. They'd feed us, play with us, clean up after us. Once domesticated to the machine's standards, we may end up becoming a lonely machine's best friend, one who sheds tears when we have to be "put down" for having excessive joint pain in our hips.