Alcatel and Lucent to Merge

Cappella writes "It is confirmed. Alcatel and Lucent are combining to form a USD $25 billion entity. This marks a new wave of telecommunications company consolidation in the next few months to come." They first tried to work out a merger five years ago, but finally, at long last, it's come to fruition.

AT&T

[HoosierPeschke]

Soooooooo will they rename themselves Western Electric and merge with AT&T?

Bets On The New Name

[Draegonis]

I was thinking "Lucatel". What else we got?

sort of like Homer's catdog

[Anonymous Coward]

loyalty of a cat + the cleanliness of a dog

Re:Bets On The New Name

[C.A. Nony Mouse]

Accident.

wtf?

[Beuno]

fruition???
Common... you're really going to say "fruition"?

AT LAST!!

[Anonymous Coward]

ALCATEL 's years of secret toil have at long last paid off! -- finally, preparations for PHASE 2 of their nefarious plans are complete! Soon...yes, very soon now, the whole world will recall the name ALCATEL [wikipedia.org] and tremble!!

[To be continued...]

Oh goody!

[cubicledrone]

$25 billion? That should be good for at least ten thousand layoffs. Middle managers are right now compliing lists of people who just bought homes or just re-financed. Hey, Bob over there just got a new car! Oh yeah, he's out with the first group.

Layoffs for all! Bonuses and parties for the rest! THERE'S CAKE IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM!

Re:Would you call this fruition?!

[cubicledrone]

Close to 9,000 jobs, or about 10% of the companies' workforce will lose their jobs as a result of the merger.

Any MOTHER FUCKING QUESTIONS?

Thank you.

We sure hope they "get" plan9

[DrSkwid]

After all, Glenda [bell-labs.com] is drawn by Renee French.

"Plan 9 from Bell Labs" the only OMG!!! Ponies OS. [typepad.com]

Seriously, we (the plan9 community - there could be up to 100 of us!) sure hope they "get" plan9.

Try Alcacent sir

[zappepcs]

The cure for all your telecommunications heartburn or upset stomach ???

Re:Bets On The New Name

[stox]

Lucatania, a perfect target for the Germans.

Alcatel and Lucent to Merge, form Voltron

[Gothmolly]

Massive blackhole of suckitude to form, news at 11.

Lets see, what do these guys do...
make "winmodems"
produce crappy PBX hardware
offer "services" ...
3) lose money!

Re:AT&T

[Espectr0]

Since the new company will be headquartered in Paris, it would have to be French Electric.

Don't worry. The US branch would be called Freedom Electric.

Re:Naperville

[Anonymous Coward]

Every worker will be given a crepe and a copy of jerry lewis's greatest hits. Every job title will change to "cheese eating surrender monkey" and all starbucks in naperville will be stocked with rude frenchman instead of rude teenagers. Everyone will be forced to grow curly mustaches and say "hambourger" instead of "hamburger". All workers will have to call all americans fat and lazy and stupid. Besides that, it will all be the exact same boring, monotonous work that you have grown accustomed to.

Re:Bets On The New Name

[cloudofstrife]

I've heard Lucratel. Hopefully it won't set the expectations for the new company too high.