Journal koh's Journal: #2 - Fool me twice... 4
Tonight the cloudy sky finds me at the console, like so many times before. Except tonight I don't feel like coding. I don't feel like playing games or reading forums. Music is on, TV is off, as I'm trying to think by myself. Trying to understand.
Across the ocean, in this country I only know from flickering images on screens, from lines and lines of crude text in mailing lists, something incredible has happened. Cohorts of people stood up and went outside, some under the rain, some with great pain, to achieve their duty. They went and chose the man they wanted as their leader, as their guide into this new century.
That man is George W. Bush, from Texas.
And it is legitimate this time, no Supreme Court authority was involved, no decision was forced upon people. They have chosen. And this, friends and neighbours, is good. It is what democracy is all about.
I understand that there are people disappointed with this decision. They should not be, for this is the will of the absolute majority of the American people.
So let's put rants, tears and threats aside for a moment and try to think about it. A little humour on the way does no harm, either.
First of all, a quick look at an election map shows the only states that voted against Bush have either a common frontier with Canada or a coastline. Well, Illinois excepted, but the lakes do count, you know.
Maybe these states were corrupted by liberal, unpatriotic, anti-American thoughts from abroad? And what does the name "Illinois" have to do with the English language anyway? Sounds European to me. Maybe even French. Oh wait, it is Native American after all. Go figure. I always suspected there was something unpatriotic about those Native American people. Especially the way they died. But I digress.
Seriously, all those states have another thing in common: people there are widely renowned to actually think. Makes you wonder why votes aren't weighted on the submitter's IQ before being registered, doesn't it? That's the trick with democracy: masses are always right. They may be dumber than the offspring of Britney Spears and a SUV tyre, but they're still right because they are numerous. Oh how lucky we are.
So the absolute majority (52%) of America is dumb? Short answer: yes. But you don't have to take my word for it, just take a look at their slogan: "Four more years".
"Four more years". That's three monosyllabic words that even untrained parrots can utter in a few hours. They don't say "In spite of the utter despise the rest of the world bears towards our current leader, and notwithstanding the gigantic holes he drilled (ha!) in our econonomy and our civil rights, I still think he will fare better if he just starts drinking again". Notice this sentence contains more than five words, some composed with as much as four (4) syllabes, which is why it is widely used to train parrots.
So there are actually two Americas: the unwashed masses (52%) and the people who do not think MS Windows is "too complicated" (48%). The question is, what can we do to ease the excrutiating pain those 48% are experiencing now ?
I tell you what. We can welcome them in Europe with open arms. I'm not kidding. Why move to Canada ? It's cold and close enough to the US that, if oil is found there one day, you're in big trouble.
I'm not afraid to tell you, fellow Americans, that you're welcome here. There are many advantages of becoming an European citizen now, including but not limited to :
- 90% of the movies here are American, so you'll feel like you're at home,
- We have nice coastlines, beaches and mountains too,
- People worshipping different Gods, or no God at all, can live, work, or even sleep together without fear,
- We have "Survivor" on TV here too,
- Gays are more popular than straight people here,
- Our space probes actually land before failing, not the other way around,
- Germany has not engaged in global war for 70 years,
- Given the way Bush runs your country, the euro will be twice as strong as the dollar in a few months,
- Nobody is gonna ask you to go and die overseas until your house is destroyed by a real WMD,
- We don't have oil.
So I urge you, bright people of America, to reconsider moving to Canada, and get here instead ASAP. Without you, America would soon revert to great plains of genetically engineered corn fields. The American citizen of the future would have 58 chromosomes, not 46.
God bless America... in Europe!
Thanks man. (Score:2)
Thanks for the offer. If it weren't for the wife, I'd be packing my bags right now (I spent two years stationed in Germany & another summer backpacking through Europe after graduating college & I miss it).
Ah, democracy... 53 million idiots smiling and patting the head of the village idiot while he craps in the pool. 'cuz that other guy is too ugly to vote fer.
That's 0.008833333333333334% of the population (roughly based on 6 billion people as the population of Earth) giving a "mandate" to continu
There's a few problems with your thinking, Koh... (Score:1)
It was legitimate last time, too. Just because a candidate wins the popular vote nation wide does not mean that he wins the election. That's not the way that the presidential election is done in the United States. Here, each state has one electoral vote for each representative in Congress. That mean
Re:There's a few problems with your thinking, Koh. (Score:2)
Go buy a sense of humor.
Sheesh.
Re:There's a few problems with your thinking, Koh. (Score:1)
I don't find ignorance (willful or otherwise) very funny.
I found his opinion that idiots should not have the same voting power as anyone else insulting, even if he intended it as a joke. I have a son that is "special needs", but he's got the same rights that I do. My wife's aunt is disabled, but she has the same rights that my wife does. Disabilities do not make someone any less a person. Making light of that sort of thing by calling somebody an "idiot" just because you disagr