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Journal bluefairee's Journal: the call 3

daev didn't change anything from what i did last night. i barely rmember doing it. i saw it and now i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY scared. i just called the hospital i was in before. my social worker is going to call me back. if i don't go back there then i guess i'm going into the hospital here.

i never even think about calling for help when things go bad. it honestly doesn't even enter my mind. i'm ususally so full of rage all i see is red. i need help and i hope to god someone can and will. for me to be scared is a really big deal since i've not feared anything since getting out of the hospital. if i don't post for a while, i'll ask dave to keep you posted. wish me luck...

very disturbed blue

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the call

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  • There's someone that you are that can see those things. Cultivate that person, because that's who you are.

    Good luck. I hope you grow into the person we all know you can be.

    • sam is right.

      there's good in you even you can't always see it.

      i don't know if you read the things from your older journal entries, but some people wrote some good things there for you. if you get a chance look at them.

      there are answers. you can find them.
  • Wishing you well.

    Learn to ask for help.

    What's in side, matching what's outside... was thinking about this, last night. You need to learn, which i also once needed to learn, that you have to make ONE more step- getting it OUT. And i don't mean as in hurting yourself to express it, i mean expressing it without the hurting yourself.

    Painting, sculpting, writing, SOMEthing to express how you're feeling other than this.

    It's a faculty that you need to cultivate.

    And fast, from the looks of it. Expect it to inv

What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite. -- Bertrand Russell, "Skeptical Essays", 1928