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Journal bluefairee's Journal: the call 3

daev didn't change anything from what i did last night. i barely rmember doing it. i saw it and now i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY scared. i just called the hospital i was in before. my social worker is going to call me back. if i don't go back there then i guess i'm going into the hospital here.

i never even think about calling for help when things go bad. it honestly doesn't even enter my mind. i'm ususally so full of rage all i see is red. i need help and i hope to god someone can and will. for me to be scared is a really big deal since i've not feared anything since getting out of the hospital. if i don't post for a while, i'll ask dave to keep you posted. wish me luck...

very disturbed blue

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the call

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  • There's someone that you are that can see those things. Cultivate that person, because that's who you are.

    Good luck. I hope you grow into the person we all know you can be.

    • sam is right.

      there's good in you even you can't always see it.

      i don't know if you read the things from your older journal entries, but some people wrote some good things there for you. if you get a chance look at them.

      there are answers. you can find them.
  • Wishing you well.

    Learn to ask for help.

    What's in side, matching what's outside... was thinking about this, last night. You need to learn, which i also once needed to learn, that you have to make ONE more step- getting it OUT. And i don't mean as in hurting yourself to express it, i mean expressing it without the hurting yourself.

    Painting, sculpting, writing, SOMEthing to express how you're feeling other than this.

    It's a faculty that you need to cultivate.

    And fast, from the looks of it. Expect it to inv

The party adjourned to a hot tub, yes. Fully clothed, I might add. -- IBM employee, testifying in California State Supreme Court