SarahAnnAlien's Journal: A Good Day, but Scary Anyway

Today was, in fact, a good day.

But I was relieved to finally get home so I could cry for a while.

I had Yet Another Medical Procedure today after work.

And everything went fine. Fine.

But, both during and after, I couldn't seem to avoid the fears that always seem to come up.

Is it going to be okay?

What if it's not okay? What will I do then? Is it supposed to hurt this much? Am I being burned? Will I be scarred?

The tears are the only way I know how to deal with the fear right now.

I'd already paid, in advance, an amount roughly equal to, at this point in my life, about a year's worth of food. Yet somehow my appointment disappeared from their appointment book. It wasn't a problem, but it didn't help my confidence at all. Thank goodness I called in the morning to double-check.

And, like I said, everything went fine. This is just one of those Scary Things that my life seems to be filled with right now.

At least this time I managed to avoid getting anesthetic up my nose. That happened last time, and it took all night for the feeling to come back to the tip of my nose.

And Yet Another Medical Procedure won't need to happen again until November.

The next Scary Thing will be on Friday. I'm not really worried about that one right now. Most likely outcome: nothing. Very slight chance of: here's something to worry about, but don't bother, because we have no idea if this is a problem or not, and if it is, there isn't anything we can do about it that's less dangerous than your current situation.

* * *

The weekend was a good one. Sunday I was supposed to go meet with some people about the trials and tribulations of being an alien, but my brain just sort of refused to cooperate, so I skipped it. I feel kind of guilty about not going. I would have liked to go. But the notion of getting dressed halfway decently, and then spending several hours on several buses, made the whole thing seem like too much work.

It was also very hot and sticky and unpleasant over the weekend, so I didn't feel like doing much.

Last Friday was a mostly good day; I had a nice nails-and-hair conversation with someone I don't know very well. I just asked her if she'd heard about my "situation", and she smiled a little and nodded, and that was it. I'm an alien, and that was just fine. I got some good hair tips from her, too.

I had a second long conversation on Friday with an old friend I hadn't talked with in a while. She had heard a while back about my being an alien. I had a lot of fun talking with her.

But I also goofed something fairly badly on Friday, I think.

I went to the Post Office to check my PO Box. The clerk there is very nice, and on Friday he said hi to me, by name. Unfortunately, it was the wrong name.

I figured I should explain the situation to him while I'm feeling brave enough to do it; otherwise, he'll be calling me the wrong name forever, and it will be more embarrassing for me as time goes on!

So I just went up to the counter, said, "um, there's something I need to tell you..." and proceeded to explain that I'm Sarah. An Alien.

And he became very flustered and embarrassed. He turned bright red. He apologized repeatedly.

I felt really bad. *He* didn't have any way of knowing I was an alien! (Well, I guess he couldn't tell...) *I* wasn't angry or offended; quite the opposite, I felt like I should have made the situation clear much earlier than I did.

So, one Alien explanation botched. Guess I can't win them all. I'll have to try to apologize the next time I see him, or at least say something to let him know I'm not angry or upset.