richie2000's Journal: What would ewe have done?

Before we bought our house a year ago, we rented a house in this very same village. That house was on a sheep farm, built in the '30s to accomodate the old folks of the farm so the younger generation could have the big house to themselves. Anyway, we lived there for ~3 years and occasionally, I helped them feed and water the sheep (~70 ewes, some bad-tempered rams and upwards of 120 lambs at most) for a week or so when they went on holiday. Sometimes during lambing season, we saw the vet's car. Nothing major, they lost a lamb now and then and sometimes a ewe. Life goes on.

Thursday, I was on-site with a customer, fixing things as usual. It took me a while so I didn't bother dropping off my backpack of tools (a 20GB USB drive, misc bootdisks, screwdrivers and stuff) at the office but instead brought it home. After dinner, I got the idea to walk down and see if they still needed help with a computer (I'd ran into them a few days before and they mentioned some issue with updating Norton Anti-Virus). When I got there, they were in the farmhouse, gathered around a ewe, looking worried. Monica had her arm in there, swearing and cursing. Turns out, the ewe had given birth to one lamb, but there was another one in there. Stillborn, except it wasn't born yet and Monica had been at it for close to an hour and was getting mighty tired in the arm. One of the problems with stillborn lambs are their teeth. Their mouths drop open and the teeth are sharp as knives. Not good for neither the mother nor the midwife. I helped fetch a few things but after a while we got the idea to lift the backside of the ewe to try and make it easier for Monica to move around in there. I got changed into an old orange overall atleast 3 sizes too small and got in the pen with them. The straw on the floor was soaked with blood, sheepshit and only God knows what else, but we lifted and after a while, she got the head out.

However, the lamb's front hooves were still in the way, Monica's whole arm was going limp and the ewe wasn't getting any better so I asked if I could try. They exchanged glances like "what the hell, she's dead anyway - we might as well get some entertainment out of the deal" and a quart of Iodine, soapy water and medical lubricant later, I was going in.

I had half expected a smooth, fleshy tunnel of sheepy vagina. What I got was a coarse trip through bone canyon without a paddle. I could tell by the sounds coming from the front end that my hand and wrist were way bigger than Monica's, but I was rested and pressed on. After ten minutes or so of navigating through remains of miscellaneous membranes I decided that I had to push the head back in to make way. We tied a noose around it, I pushed it back in, the ewe screamed like a banshee but I got a hold of the right front leg and pulled it out together with the head. It wasn't enough, it was still stuck. The vet was way off at the other side of the county, the ewe was dropping off and we knew we had to hurry if the first lamb was going to have a mother. I lubed up and went back in. My hand started to cramp just as I was grasping for the other hoof but I gritted my teeth, managed to bend it inwards and pull it, the neck and right leg out. Monica screamed with joy and kissed me on the cheek. :-)

I got washed, changed out of the overalls, washed again and was offered a wide assortment of destilled beverages and a ride home but I declined all offers and walked home to a very long, hot shower. My parting words were "When you get the vet here to check up on the ewe, ask her to fix the computer and we'll call it even". ;-)

Monica dropped by yesterday and told me that the ewe hadn't eaten much since, but she'd gotten a shot of cortizone and some lime and she'd started to drink water and appeared a little friskier so they have good hopes for her. She's not producing any milk so the first lamb is being bottle-fed for now.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

spelling

[bersl2]

I do believe you meant "ewe" [reference.com]; a "yew" [reference.com] is something different.

Re:spelling

[richie2000]

You are absolutely correct. I thought it looked odd, but I was too stressed at the time to look it up. :-(

Thanks.

Boring

[robi2106]

At least that is what my weekend looks like in comparison to yours! Wow.

jason

The ewe?

[richie2000]

She died.

They sent tissue samples off to see if they can figure out what she died of (they always do that if a sheep dies and they don't know why). The #1 contender right now is simply fatigue.