Celt's Journal: A New Beginning....

Or maybe it is'ent, but either way things ARE good!
Had a revolation two weeks ago about alot of things, and its mad me realise a good fews things and already things have greatly improved.
Except for one thing.
Part of the revolation was that I still really like Linda, but differently to how I felt back in Nov,Dec or Jan.
After I asked her out, for the most part I burined my feelings about her but after she showed up at my house at 2am Tuesday two weeks ago I realised that my feelings for her are still there.
As the two of us were lying on my bed watching LOTR's all I wanted to do was put my arm around her but I was so nervous about what to do I did'ent I don't know what she must have thought.

But all I wanted to do was be close to her if even for a second!
Problem is now I've split into two parts, one part of me wants her as a friend and she is, or atleast I consider her to be but the other part of me is the part that wants more, this part of me wants to make sure she's happy and never upset about stuff and wants to be close to her.

Well had a talk with a friend of mine two days after that tuesday and he suggested I tell her that I still have feelings for her.
So I worked myself up, well actually I did'ent, to be honest I was'ent nervous about it at all (wow how things have changed)

So I phoned her last Sunday evening and asked if she could meet me on Monday cause I wanted to talk with her about something.
Well on that she had to take a rain check and same again on Tuesday, she got mad working hours for the next two weeks.
But she contacted me Thursday evening and asked if I wanted to go for a walk with her and her nephew in the park and so I did, and I did'ent tell her....

We went out that night and I found out she;s dating someone atm :( I still would have liked to tell her but she seemed pre-occupied about something and at a few points during the night I glanced over at her and she almost looked like she was gona cry about something, I was'ent going to be a selfish fecker and add anything to what ever else was on her mind.
I asked was she ok, she said she was just thinking bout something at work, but I doubt thats the truth, dam I hate seeing her anyway down or upset, hell I can't stand to see any girl like that even if I don't know them.

Its either the greatest thing in the world to be like this or its a evil evil curse!

When the topic of me wanting to talk to her did come up I just said that it did'ent matter now and it was'ent important.
I just did'ent want to add anything to her worries, I wouldn;t be able to forgive myself.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens, and maybe just maybe the right time might come, but something big weighs on my mind and thats that I don't want to loose her as a friend if I tell her how I feel about her.

I'd rather just have her as a friend and never tell her then tell her and loose her.

On the plus side of things I got a photo of her now :) Yeahhhh

Re:Tell the chick you dig her

[Celt]

Thanks for the sound advice, although I haven't been able to tell her the way I wanted to (face to face) atleast now I've done it and although I'm uncertain what the future holds now.
Its not like the other options were any better, since I would have always regreted it if I never told her