chimpo13's Journal: planet of the monkeys, akira monkey, Christopher Reeve, and

and zombie monkeys...

A couple months ago, the night dj on KDVS (www.kdvs.org) was playing movie soundtracks. Around 3am she played "the Hunt" from Planet of the Apes. It's the part when the apes are chasing Bright Eyes through the corn. Although in that part I suppose Heston's name would still be Taylor. I turned up the truck radio really loud hoping the outside monkeys would take the hint and uprise. That didn't work, so I called her to complain. She played part of the theme from Escape from the Planet of the Apes, but the monkeys didn't do anything for that one. I think there's defective monkeys there.

Last night, I kept screaming at the monkeys "Tetsuo!!!", which, as everyone knows, is an Akira reference. Still nothing, although I hope Akira makes his presence known and Kaneda will try to stop Tetsuo's manic rise to power (again). I'm sure Tetsuo is secretly kept at the secret monkey compound in a secret chamber. Probably in the buzzing brain room.

It's like my secret peek at PETA (or MST3K) because there's a bunch of depressed monkeys with giant implants glued into their brains through their skulls to measure brain waves. I wear a tinfoil hat when I go into that room. Something about the air pressure in that room makes the door buzz, so you walk in that hallway and you hear "Bzzzz" and the monkeys try their secret monkey voodoo mumbo-jumbo to bend spoons and predict the future (George Clooney marries Rosemary Clooney). I haven't seen Kaneda since I've been working there (only since April 2003) probably because he's secretive.

Actually, I know there are defective monkeys there, because they never laugh at my Superman/Christopher Reeve jokes. I know that if they just thought the jokes were insensitive, they'd just complain (which actually means "throw poo at me"). And so far, after 9 1/2 months, no monkey poo has been thrown on me. Although a monkey peed on me, but that was because I insulted his mother.

I've been playing Resident Evil Veronica X so instead of driving around the monkey compound listening to punk rock and washing monkey shit out of cages, I'll start freaking out about zombie monkeys coming to eat me.