staticjedi's Journal: M. I. A.

I keep knowing that there should be something that's not there.
I know by now that no one gives a shit.
Hell I was neetly tucked away in a corner, accused of something I would NEVER do, and wasn't even offered so much as a fuck you.
I just don't know anymore.
There must be something horribly wrong with me. I must be very ugly. I know I am not barbie, never will be, don't realy wanna be.
K and I keep talking about sneaking off to Vegas to get hitched. I still think I would be making an astronaomical mistake by doing it. I can know this by the quiet observing I have done over the years to other couples. Cheating, lying, deceite, unhappiness, this is what I have to look forward to if I go there. Maybe I will just use him as a sperm donor and then dissapear into the night. And if he offs himself, oh well, he is a rather pathetic specimin of a male anyway. But as far as I can see he is my best prospect for having a child since foster parenting is out due to a cop who was a total fucking ass. Let me tell all of you, never just tell them what they want to hear to get them to leave you alone. They will twist it into a tissue of lies and cost you everything. That fucking ass of a cop brought out behaviours in me that had been gone for years. I FUCKING HATE FUCKING COPS!!! You fuckers are never fucking there when I need you and when you are around it is just to give me unneccessary shit. All of this is purely my opinion so there.
Well I guess I will go drink caff and pray for my ride to get here and plan ways to die in the eventuality that I am never going to see my mom.
The ugly one signing off-----------------