The Turd Report's Journal: The Turd Report 11/20/2003

The binding effects of the Percocets has passed. (pun not intended) Yesterday, I had a ham and cheese sandwich on rye bread and a small salad. I also had a craving for milk and drank a half gallon after work. I was awoken at 5am by my cat meowing by my head. I woke up, rolled over and started to let a 'Good Morning' fart. I felt a gurgling and welling up in my gut. "That's no fart", I thought to myself as I hopped up and staggered into the bathroom half awake. Everything seems to have left my ass at once. A sudden rush and a sound like that of a potato gun firing mud at a wall and it was over. There was a strong sulphur smell to it. The turd wasn't solid, but it wasn't liquid either. It was a semi-solid; solid enough to plaster itself to the back of the bowl. Clean up was a bit of a mess, but the wet-wipes cleared everything out. Upon flushing, the semi-turd clung defiently to the bowl. A second flush sent it to its fate at the waste treatment plant. I rate this turd as a 7.

What An Asshat

[The Turd Report]

Looks like he banned 1/3 of his posting base.

Percoset

[dr_dank]

I can definitely identify with the painkillers halting turd production. When I had my wisdom teeth out a few months ago, I forgot all about taking a dump for at least 3-4 days.

Living Hell

[The Turd Report]

It was hellish. The Percocets don't work that well and going 2+ days w/o a poo sucked. I still felt the urge to take a dump, but despite my pushing and grunting, I could not crap. But, when I did go, it felt sooooo good afterwards.

Re:Living Hell

[dr_dank]

For me, I had similar experience with Vicodin, but it didn't work at all. Percoset would work ok with one pill and put you in a nice state with two. I wonder what the next step up from Percoset would be?

Re:Living Hell

[The Turd Report]

Oxycontin.