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Journal Surak's Journal: diet pop + google + phenylalanine == Ultimate Web Spam? 17

Journal by Surak

One day while drinking my diet pop* (this was maybe about 3 or more years ago), I noticed the following wording on the bottle:

PHENYLKETONURICS:
CONTAINS PHENYLALANINE

Being the curious sort of person I am, I typed phenylalanine into google and determined that phenylalanine is a protein that's used to make aspartame, aka NutraSweet(tm), and that phenylketonurics are people who are unable to process phenylalanine.

Interesting.

Well, one day someone asked me about aspartame and about whether it caused headaches, because they got headaches whenever they drank diet pop. Remembering that one symptom of phenylketonurics is that pheynalalanine can cause them headaches (and even mental retardation!) I thought it useful to look it up and again, and show them the article I found, because they also said they got similar headaches from almonds, which naturally contain phenylalanine.[**]

Well, I type in phenylalanine into google and the first site in the results is a site called phenyalanine.net. Go take a look. The site is hilarious if read it carefully.

It appears to be common e-mail spam cleverly disguised as an article on phenylalanine. Everything is in there: herbal Viagra, buy real Viagra online, penis enlargement, and even AdultFriendFinder. The only thing missing were Tawny and her naughty friends! ;)

So here's my thought: the guy who made this site is a spammer. He figures a lot of people drink diet pop and have no clue what phenylalanine or phenylketonurics are. So they type 'phenylalanine' into google, and his site, which has somehow cleverly got around the google pageranking system is right up at the top. They click the headline, which says 'phenylaline and sexual enhancement' and boom, get this "article" which actually appears to be the Ultimate Web Spam!

Ingenious! Spam on every bottle of diet pop on the planet!

Why didn't I think of that? ;)

[*] pop == what we call 'soda' in Detroit
[**] why do people ask me this stuff? I dunno. maybe they think I'm smart. Maybe it's cause I'm an herbalist. I dunno. *shrug*

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diet pop + google + phenylalanine == Ultimate Web Spam? More

diet pop + google + phenylalanine == Ultimate Web Spam?

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  • question.

    [**] why do people ask me this stuff? I dunno. maybe they think I'm smart. Maybe it's cause I'm an herbalist. I dunno. *shrug*

    I do. It's cause you're cute, and they're too shy to actually hit on you, so they ask you things, and then bask in the attention you give them!
    • Great...now I've got a cyberstalker!

      Anyone got any suggestions? Sol? Bethanie? FortKnox? Hampsterdude? Hello?

      • what what what!? Cyberstalker, where?!
        • Comment removed based on user account deletion
        • Pssst... icbl...!!

          If you knock him out, I'll tie him down!! I think Sol has some bricks we can borrow... ;-)

          ....Bethanie....
          • HEY!

            You're supposed to be backing me up! Sol at least offered the bricks to *me*!

            Thanks, bethanie!

            • No, I think icbl is the one who wants to "back you up," as the saying goes, dear.

              I'm just here for the video footage. ;-)

              But if you wanna turn the tables & conk him out, I'm sure that'd suit my purposes just fine!

              ....Bethanie....
              • Video footage? Did Weekly Recap(tm) hire your for their special video edition? ;)

                • No, this is an independent project I've been commissioned to put together.

                  Can't tell you who hired me, but I can say I'm being paid in french fries. :-) Want some?

                  ....Bethanie....
                  • No, this is an independent project I've been commissioned to put together.

                    Can't tell you who hired me, but I can say I'm being paid in french fries. :-) Want some?

                    Mmmm! French fries! Wow, these are extra crispy and golden brown! Almost like they've been deep...FRIED TWICE! *index finger goes up*

                    *same index finger now crosses mouth* *thoughtful frown*

                    hmmmmm....
      • Just point me at 'em and run fer cover! *grin* nah. I'll let YOU use the brick, and then i'll know whether you actually need the help. Which i will gladly offer, if you do. If you don't, I'll just watch the carnage from a discreet distance...
        • Thanks! At least you didn't offer the bricks to the cyberstalker over there, unlike *bethanie*.

          Obviously, *you* appreciate me more than *bethanie*. ;)

          • Oh, don't let her fool you -- she's just waiting for you to knock yourself out and then swoop in for a quick snack.

            It's one of the oldest tricks in the Dragon Handbook (I snuck a peek while she was distracted putting out another kitchen fire).

            ....Bethanie....
  • It's always instructive to look at the pages that link [google.com] to the said document.

    All top 10 results, (including this scientific looking [dihydrotestosterone.com] site by the same author; the Myanmar [asiatour.com] page has a huge cache of sex links at the bottom for mysterious reasons) are about sex.

    For folks who are concerned about increasing rate of irrelevant results on Google, here's some comfort:- a) All the other hits seem to be legit, and b) There's always Alltheweb [alltheweb.com] when Google fails.

  • *peering out from behind parasol* is it gone yet??? while not depicting a single affronting picture or drawing, it managed to offend all my sensibilities from my grammar guides to my (admittedly questionable) first aid training!!! Surak! you say you found this on your own??? And without bethanie's help? Does she know you're looking for her on adultfriendfinder?? Is she the one who got you hooked on morphine substitutes? And i don't want to think about the two of you with MORE ribald energy (although that wo
    • It was all google's fault! I had NOTHING to do with it.

      Does she know you're looking for her on adultfriendfinder??

      Who says I'm looking for *bethanie* on adultfriendfinder? (You're beginning to wish you never hit me in the head with that brick, aren't you? ;)

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