heironymouscoward's Journal: Heironymous' Dictionary, M-P

Marketplace, The
Best illustrated by the scene in which a group of hairy males corner a group of females and agree amongst themselves how to divide the spoils. See Competitor.

Marriage
An occasion in which two extended families celebrate the exchange of a man and a woman's usufruit for the benefit of their genes. Marriage traditionally involves much alcohol (see drugs), music, and speeches by drunken uncles.

Miss
An unmarried woman, of any sexual orientation, who has not yet found a man who is both tolerable enough to live with and wealthy enough to provide enough clothes, cosmetics, jewels, cars, houses, and other symbols of wealth with which she can make her friends jealous.

Money
Modern abstract version of friendship, trust, and reputation that is more portable and accumulable than any of these. See sex, marriage, prostitute, hammers.

Ms
An unmarried woman who has exceeded her 'use by' date and will no longer find a bachelor willing to concede. A Ms has several options, including marriage with a second-hand husband, or life on the road. See divorce, prostitute.

Parents
Organisms that share half our genes and all of our problems. See siblings.

Pleasure
A tactical weapon used by certain of our mental organs to encourage other of our mental organs to behave in ways compatible with executing our life strategy despite the hard work, pain, and possible risk involved.

Politicians
Priests with money and power. See crime bosses.

Priests
Elderly men who by using long words and subtle language can convince people that their hammers are the best.

Prison
Large building in which young human males are locked-up while their peers make hammers. More expensive than school, has the advantage of providing pale-skinned sadists with steady work. See instincts, racism.

Projection
The mental process in which we analyze another person's world in terms of our own limitations.

Prostitute
A Ms who exchanges sex for money and thus attains the financial security of a married woman without the stress of either the Great Lekk or risk of divorce. Provides males of low, middle, and high status with the pleasure of sex with unknown females without the risk of entry into a sexual relationship. See sex, sexual relationship, Ms, pleasure.