heironymouscoward's Journal: Heironymous' Dictionary, D-L

Dealer, The
Mystical entity responsible for all the trouble in the world. See belief, religion, hammer.

Death
Moment at which organism returns its cards to The Dealer and its relatives start to fight over its posessions. See The Dealer, money.

Divorce
The stressful, long, and embarassing social process during which a married couple return to bachelor and Ms status. However, one does get to remove one's ring. See Ms, marriage.

Drugs
Foreign compounds which allow subversion of the pleasure control circuits in our brains.

Drug Addiction
The escalating guerilla war between those mental organs trying to enforce the pleasure circuits, and those trying to escape that enforcement.

Hammer
A solution looking for a problem. See businessman.

Happiness
A mental state that comes from all our mental organs agreeing that we are making satisfactory progress in the phases of our life strategy.

Homosexual
A male or female who has been granted the privilege of opting out of the Great Lekk. Usually this is because they have enough elder siblings that their genetic reproduction is assured. Being homosexual also confers the interesting advantage of being able to join both male and female networks, something excluded to heterosexuals. In compensation for being considered 'strange' by general society, nature gives male homosexuals unlimited sex, and female homosexuals various vegetables with interesting shapes. See sex, the Great Lekk.

Husband
Heterosexual adult male who has committed to exchanging financial security and one teaspoon of sperm every few days for unlimited sex with the most beautiful woman he could marry with his status. See sex, status, beauty, marriage. Husbands and wives are ringed, like birds, to indicate their captive status.

Genocide
The blame the victim technique taken to its logical conclusion. Logic is not always a good thing. See religion, animalization.

Lawyer
Rich and well-connected adult male who rents his social network to other rich adult males.

Lekk, The Great
The stressful, long, and embarassing social process during which bachelors parade before unmarried women and strut their stuff. The women and men then engage in a reverse auction in which both parties lower their expectations until they find a buyer.

Life
A game in which we try (unconciously) to find and execute a strategy to maximise the reproductive success of our genes. Our life strategy depends on our species, gender, genetic makeup, and social class, and goes through phases from childhood, parenthood, and elderhood.