The Turd Report's Journal: The Turd Reprot 01/01/2002

Happy New Year Fans! I had chicken fingers with 911 hot sauce and the better part of a fifth of Johnny Walker Gold Label last night. I had the 'Ring of Fire' this morning. It took a good minute of pushing to get it going. It was about a foot long and I could not tell what color it was. They turn the lights off in 'non-essential' parts of the building during the weekends and holidays, so I pooped in the dark. There was an odd smell, kind of like dirt after I shit. Odd. It flushed easily, but the clean up was a mess. I must have used 1/4th of the roll. I rate this turd a 6.