MyHair's Journal: My Small Time Con

This is just a copy of my recent post describing when I was conned at 18, 15 years ago. I hadn't thought about this in a long, long time and writing about it brought back some memories and insights. I didn't want to lose track of the post so I'm copying it here.
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I don't suppose I could convince you to describe it? If it's really that embarassing, then never mind.

Okay, but realize it will probably sound completely stupid to you; it even sounds stupid to me; it sounded stupid to me as soon as I realized that my money was gone.

I don't recall all the details, but here is the gist of it:

I was 18 and driving home from either school (college) or work. While driving past a small old-fashioned grocery store two blocks from my house a black man (I'm white) waved me down asking for help; I don't recall why I stopped; I think he had money or something in his hand that attracted my attention. (Note that non gullible people would've driven by; us suckers wander out of the crowd and identify ourselves to a troll like this, so they already know they have someone they can work with.)

He spoke poor english and wanted some help with money; he had a thick roll of it which later I figured out must've been a roll of blank paper with a couple of $20's on the outside to make it look like a couple thousand. (Showing the money is the first hook attempt: the man appears naive and vulnerable; some might want to take advantage and either steal the money or earn a helpers fee, some like me just want to help him not lose it. It also implies that he's not trying to steal money from you since he obviously has plenty, or at least that's how my brain worked.)

The details escape me, and this story unfolded (and was surely adapted to my vulnerabilities) throughout the con even after the 2nd guy joined in, but it was something like this: He was a sailor or something and had to get back to his ship (and this in the middle of North Texas; wtf?), but for some reason he needed to put his money in a safe place, and it wouldn't be safe if he took it with him. he And didn't trust U.S. banks. Oh yeah, he was a foreigner, too. There was probably some story about family or something that needed the money, but I don't recall exactly.

Okay, so some of this story was started, and I parked my car in the grocery lot and was following him inside (I don't recall why exactly, but it was to help him somehow; maybe to help him understand how to get a money order or something.) On the way in a second man (also black, but it doesn't matter) came out of the store and the "sailor" asked him for help, too. (I never had any clue these guys knew each other until the money was gone.)

So now from my ponit of view there was a person in need and two strangers trying to help him, and the two helpers didn't see eye-to-eye on everything.

Again, details escape me, but between the three of us we came up with that the "sailor" needed to put the money in a bank, but we had to demonstrate to him that the banks and we helpers were trustworthy. During this process the 2nd guy briefly introduced topics such as a pastor down the street and a whorehouse down the street; at the time my brain dismissed these items as completely irrelevant and I steered the discussion towards more relevant matters. (Later I realized he was trolling different possible con scenarios to see where I'd bite...so he could tell by my reactions exactly which direction in which to proceed with the con.)

I only had a few dollars which wasn't enough to demonstrate trust, but they asked if I had a paycheck to cash or something and I did; I had just been paid and hadn't cashed the check yet, but the check was at home. So they convinced me to cash the check; we all 3 got in my car and drove 2 blocks to my house; the second guy told me not to tell my Mom (I was living with Mom and told them so when they asked if I lived with someone), and stupidly I didn't mention it to her; I dutifully went in the house and got my paycheck while two con men sat in the car probably discussing strategy and contingincies.

Then we all drove to a bigger grocery store that would cash my check; this was North Texas in 1988 and on the way there was an intersection where the Ku Kux Klan were demonstrating dressed up in their sheets and waving signs. The "sailor" screamed "the killers!" and shivered in the back seat...an effective method (on me) of generating sympathy. Somehow us two "helpers" calmed him down.

One of the guys accompanied me into the grocery store where I cashed my check.

After returning to my car, the second guy, the other "helper" gave me his wallet and the "sailor" and I walked around the grocery store (out of sight from the "helper" for a few minutes) to demonstrate that the second helper trusted us. I think this was the helper's idea, and I thought it was stupid but the "sailor" seemed to like the idea and was in hook, line and sinker.

While walking around the building the "sailor" kept expressing amazement that the guy trusted us to do this.

The second demonstration of trust was that I gave them my $117 and waited for them to walk around the grocery store. After this the "sailor" would supposedly trust us enough to put his money in a safe place of our recommendation (a bank or money order...I don't recall the exact plan).

Of course you know the end of the story...I never saw them again after they rounded the corner with my $117.

What's horrible is the slow realization that you've been connned. There I was, sitting in my car alone. I had a bad feeling in my gut as soon as they rounded the corner; it briefly occured to me to drive around and check on them, but no, that would ruin everything that we'd worked on so far my brain told me. So I sat. A minute or two passed, and alone in my car I started thinking about how absurd this was, but I hadn't quite realized it was gone yet. I waited and waited and after I was convinced they had been too long I drove around the store and they were no where to be seen.

I can't tell you how humiliating it is; the worst part is realizing how obvious it was the whole time and yet my own brain seemed to be what conned me more than those two. I even realized at the time that some of the discussion was way out of left field, but I--not the scammers--was able to dismiss or rationalize it away. I went home and was in a mixed state of frustration, fury, embarrassment, etc.. I was on the verge of tears. Mom could tell something was wrong and was very worried. It was hard to speak, but I told her what happened. I don't think I told anyone else for at least a few months, and I never told anyone outside of the family until now.

Actually, I hadn't thought about it in a while. It used to be a source of internal shame for me; I suppose I'm finally "over it" after 14 or 15 years. And in retrospect I have some valuable insights out of it for a fairly cheap price. Not that I'd thank them if I ever saw them again....

Now that I think about it, these guys almost never quit talking; I think the idea was to throw too much information at me for me to stop and think about what I was doing; I was too busy rationalizing some of the information and discarding the rest as irrelevant.

These guys were small time, and in retrospect I'm possibly lucky that they didn't outright rob me or take my car, too. The car was traceable, so I suspect they just wanted the cash, and I suspect they would've robbed me in certain scenarios but I was gullible enough that they were able to walk away with the cash easily. It took me over a week to earn that money and it took them probably an hour or two to con me out of it.

You and I could point out countless errors in judgement and alternative action after reading the above scenario, but the con men are good at distraction and manipulation. I suspect there was a thrid guy who might've posed as the pastor if I had gone that route or who might've driven a getaway car at the back of the grocery store.

In reading about other scams, greed seems to be the biggest and most effective hook. Greed, religion (proving your faith through helping a brother) and good samaritanism seem to be the most common hooks. Actually sometmies I think these are combined: maybe the target wants to be a good samaritan but is also distracted by the possibility of getting a piece of the money at stake.

Distraction and confidentiality are importatnt, too. They need to keep you thinking about what YOU want out of the "deal" so you don't stop to think how absurd the situation is or ask someone else for advice. In the 419 scams the greed factor and the 'fact' that breaching confidentiality will make the deal impossible or even dangerous for the other party work to keep the target focused on money and practical details and pitfalls and a seemingly guaranteed "lottery win". I'm guessing many targets are also distracted by thinking what they're going to spend the money on.

Since my guys brought up sex and religion I suspect those are common distractions if the target indicates interest. I've heard of small time scams where "brothers" bilk a lady out of money for "tools" and such for their trade, and I read an account of someone who played the game to see what the 419 scammers would do, and that conversation went religious as the scammer claimed deep spiritual beliefs.

Sex is probably a distraction reserved for small time scams; I'm not sure how that would work in a more sophisticated scam. Actually I'm not sure how that work work small time; I suppose that might end in an outright robbery or leaving the John/target waiting for a woman (or man) in a room while the scammers take off.

I think the art of conning is to entice the target with several types of bait and then work up the story based on his preferred bait and then watch what the target does and follow; I think the con is mostly directed by the target's own expectations and rationalizations and the con men are along for the ride.

Going back to feeling sorry for these "idiots" who got scammed...I had little or no sympathy for them, either, but now I'm reconsidering that. The con is a troll for targets, for the weak or gullible, and fruequently--though not always--for the greedy. It's still hard to feel sorry for the greedy, but the gullible and well-intended get hooked, too. Once you've been hooked I think it's fairly easy for a pro to get to the sting.

Coming up with an outrageous analogy, if people were leaving bear traps (the snap-onto-your-leg kind) around, most people would be smart enough to avoid them. But there would be a small few who would be distracted or just ignorant enough to step into one. (Let's ignore kids since these types of scams we're discussing seem to be unable to target kids.) To the rest of us the traps are just an annoyance we can step around like deleting a 419 email or passing by the man selling Rolexes or whatever. Should we laugh at those who step in the bear traps and say it's their fault for being stupid and applauding Darwin selection?