Catch up on stories from the past week (and beyond) at the Slashdot story archive


Forgot your password?
User Journal

Journal Orion Blastar's Journal: The Genius Guide to Buddhism and Learning

One day the Buddha had a student that refused to do anything he said. We shall call this student as Spencer and protect his real name. Spencer didn't want to listen to the Buddha or do anything he said.

"What is wrong Spencer?" asked the Buddha.

"I don't believe you are really enlightened. I believe you are a con-artist spouting nonsense and not really a Buddha!" yelled Spencer.

"I will be glad to talk to you when you are as calm as me." smiled the Buddha

Spencer got upset but in a few minutes calmed down.

"None of this stuff works in real life Buddha; your theories don't work in the real world. When some asshole takes advantage of you, meditation isn't going to help!" yelled Spencer.

"I see," said the Buddha "but you are still upset, I'll be glad to talk to you when you are as calm as me." laughed the Buddha.

"Why are you laughing, are you laughing at me?" asked Spencer.

"No I am not," smiled the Buddha, "I am laughing because what you say is funny to me. I am laughing with you and not against you."

"I do not understand." asked Spencer.

"That is why you are this way," said the Buddha, "you are delusional and ignorant but I can gladly help you with that and dispel those delusions and enlighten you so you are no longer ignorant." smiled the Buddha.

"I think this is a scam and that you are a con-artist!" snapped Spencer.

"Why would you say that?" asked the Buddha.

"Because none of this stuff works." said Spencer.

"Why doesn't it work for you, Spencer?" asked the Buddha.

"Because I can't get the meditation to work." said Spencer.

"I see," said the Buddha, "let me meditate on that for a while."

The Buddha meditates for 15 minutes.

The Buddha speaks "I think I know what is wrong Spencer."

"What is wrong Buddha?" asked Spencer.

"I will make you a deal to teach you a significant learning opportunity." said the Buddha.

"What is that?" asked Spencer.

"I will give you a command and you will follow it, deal?" said the Buddha.

"No way there is no way I will follow any command you give!" yelled Spencer.

"I will speak to you when you are as calm as me." smiled the Buddha and he never got upset nor angry at Spencer and showed him nothing but love, compassion, and mercy.

"I am a skeptic, scientist and atheist who expose frauds," said Spencer, "and I think you are teaching dangerous ideas Buddha and religion only harms people and never helps them. I am doing research on you to write a book called 'The Buddha Delusion' and it will become a best seller!" snapped Spencer.

"How untrue and delusional," smiled Buddha, "so let me make you a deal. If you follow my command I give you then you agree that religion is not dangerous and harmful and agree to learn meditation better. If you do not follow my command in three hours time then you win, I admit to everyone I am a fraud and prove you correct on that statement, deal?" smiled the Buddha.

"There is no way I will follow anything you say," snapped Spencer, "you shove your opinions on people, and like to present your opinion as Capital-T Truth. So yes there is nothing you can say that I will follow, deal!" smiled Spencer with an evil grin.

"Then I command you, Spencer, to ..." the Buddha paused for dramatic effect, " breathe!" and laughed.

Spencer tried for 15 minutes to hold his breath but ultimately breathed a few times.

"Did I hear you breathing Spencer?" asked the Buddha.

"Yes, I did Buddha. You tricked me!" frowned Spencer.

"Your anger, ignorance, and delusions tricked you Spencer, not me." smiled the Buddha.

"You cannot do it again Buddha, double or nothing." said Spencer.

"OK if you say so Spencer, one more time. I command you Spencer, to ..." the Buddha paused for dramatic effect, "be alive!" and laughed.

"Not again! I give up Buddha you win!" frowned Spencer.

"Yes Spencer; however, you just won as well!" laughed the Buddha.

"But how?" asked Spencer.

"Because you just cast off part of your ignorance and delusions and gained a bit of enlightenment and became a better person for it now. You learned the truth, the universal truth about yourself and others and learning. Go in peace Spencer, and teach this to others and keep practicing your meditation. It will take six years for you to master it." smiled the Buddha.

Spencer then learned the truth about himself that he had been an asshole, and the Buddha taught him how to deal with assholes so they become enlightened and learn to become better. Jesus later taught this as "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you." based upon this teaching by The Buddha.

The moral of the story besides you cannot win an argument with the Buddha is that if someone doesn't want to do what they are told? Tell them to do something they will do anyway. As you cannot force someone to do something they don't want to do, but some things they do naturally anyway and if you tell them to do that, they cannot stop but do that.

For more info on Buddhism:

Buddhism set the standard for Christianity later. The Buddha set the standards for Jesus to teach later and both teach the same thing, the truth or universal truth about ourselves and the universe. If Buddhism didn't exist there would be no Christianity, as Jesus was a Buddha as well as the Messiah, Prophet, Rabbi, Teacher, Philosopher, Critical Thinker, Son of God, and also a Genius I learned meditation at the Thai Buddhist temple and help out people with computer work. So imagine instead of the Buddha it says Jesus Christ instead.

"...and that is how you treat assholes like that!" Eric from "The Revolution" in Gent, Belgium.

But Jesus is also the future Buddha:

Jesus is one of the Buddhas and also Kalki in Hinduism, Jesus has always been and always shall be. The Buddhas work for Jesus. Jesus was the truth that taught the Buddha enlightenment.

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

The Genius Guide to Buddhism and Learning

Comments Filter:

Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.