Journal Scott Lockwood's Journal: So... You didn't like my blog entry yesterday? 2
So, you didn't like my blog entry from yesterday...
Current mood: bitchy
Ok. That's cool. I get that. Mind you, it was all very 'stream-of-consciousness' style stuff, and really could have been better written, both for flow and clarity.
For example, I really should have redacted OSO1 & OSO2's names from the start. I have apologized to them for that, but now I'm doing so publicly as well. Fair is fair, after all. They deserve that much respect from me, and a lot more than I showed yesterday.
Second, someone seems to think it's none of my business who she's fucking. You know what? She's right. What *IS* my business is not getting woken up at 3am by the fiancee of the person she's fucking, because he's over at her place at 3am. You think it's wrong of me to get pissed? I should just be happy to get woken up at 3am? I should just file the whole thing away, shouldn't say anything to anyone, and should what - be happy that I got woken up by a friend in pain because she didn't know where my room mate was?
OH HELL NO!!!
If you don't like me calling you on your bullshit, make sure it doesn't result in my being woken up at 3am. Make sure it doesn't hurt anyone I care about. Other than that, I don't really give a fuck. I have tried to be your friend, I can only assume from your blog that you don't care to be, and that's fine. I have enough of my own mental health issues on my plate right now, I don't need your drama.
Why is it I'm the asshole here, exactly? I'm not lying to anyone. I said it last time, I'll say it again - Polyamory is about open, honest, ethical non-monogamy. Don't feel like adhering? Fine, don't! You have no one but yourself to blame when others point fingers and call you on your shit. I can't believe I was ever attracted to you. *** shudder ***
I like you, most of the time. I just don't like what you're doing to my friend, Ashley. I think it's fucking bullshit.
I'm very upset about this, as I don't like to see my friends hurt, and also because OSO2 and 'the older woman' are getting along so famously. Mind you, this is actually a good thing. They both deserve good friends, and other than this issue, I don't really have a problem with 'the older woman'. I know that she's lacked for friends around here, and that's a shitty place to be. I'm happy for her and OSO2 both that they're getting along well. I just don't see why another friend of mine has to get hurt by all of this. Sad, really, but I can't do anything about it.
I love OSO2, and I don't want to upset, hurt, or disappoint her, but I have my own needs just as she has hers. I had hoped we were strong enough to weather this, and I still hope that we are. It's always a bad sign when you get luke warm reactions from someone at best.
OSO1 seems to be taking it very well that I won't go over to her house anymore. She understand my reasons, and agrees with them, which is a plus. At least my whole life hasn't gone to hell in a hand basket. I love her and OSO2 very much, and I hope they understand that for me, this is like therapy. It helps me a LOT to get these things OUT in the open.
In life (Score:2)
Whew! (Score:1)