Journal queenofthe1ring's Journal: weary 11
Ok, so I guess it's time for my monthly update, as it would seem.
The car situation is undoubtedly aging me. Still not resolved, this marks nearly 2 months. I tried to call my local agent again today, and of course she is not in. She is never in when I call, and usually takes a couple of additional phone messages on the days that she is in before she will call me back.
Since my last posting I received a second claim number. Left messages with 2 different people in the claims corporate departments, neither of which called me back. I got a mailing from my local agent that was a form to fill out about how I liked my service and the speed of the solution of my claim. I've decided to give her one last chance to get this rolling before I give her bad marks on everything. Assuming she calls me back.
I don't really know what to say about the grandmother situation that would be entirely appropriate, other than she decided to have the surgery that she insisted that she didn't want to have (unless everyone else wanted her to or something?). It sounds like she'll make a recovery. I don't really want to talk about it.
Mostly I'm just mentioning that much to set the stage for this bit: I'm pretty much avoiding my family right now, because the stress of dealing with them has gotten to great, probably as a result of the added strain of my grandmother. My mother sends me emails that not so subtly aim guilt in my direction. My father sends lonely sounding emails because he is stuck in NJ with grandmother, and she's never been a very nice person. Basically I feel like I'm failing at my familial obligations, I think that they are accusing me of that.
I can't take care of them anymore. Especially right now. I had decided that this year I needed to start putting myself first so that I can heal. It got to the point in the first couple weeks of this year to where any and every conversation I would have with them (particularly my mother, but if I talk to my father, she'll get persistent about why I am avoiding her, so he gets pushed out too) would make me so stressed and upset that I would feel physically ill, and it was probably a contributing factor in why I got sick so much.
But the guilt...
The fact that they're all online (including my brother, who is never online) makes me feel worse. I'm currently signed in as invisible, otherwise I'm sure I'd probably would have had to leave the computer by now entirely due to the stress and sickness. Well, brother needs the brownie points right now anyways, to make up for his other behaviours. And they might all be visiting in a few days, so I'm not sure how I'll weather that, especially when my mother brings the inevitable "where have you been" accusation to the table.
I could probably go on many more paragraphs about it.
Had my first GI specialist appointment. Essentially it was a waste of time. She gave me 2 OTC med samples. One worked, but not the way I thought it would, and the other I am too scared to try due to the high risk of dependency associated with it, and the possible side effect of crapping one's pants at random. Would have been nice if she mentioned those things in the office. I'm glad I can research online.
On the good things side: I adore my husband, and he adores me. He gave me a brand new project to work on as what he wanted for his Valentine's present. It's going better than I thought it would, but still trying to get everything to go together. Edited the first 3 chapters of the novel I started ages ago. Husband is helping me with a new line of studies. I am trying hard.
Sorry if this is all TMI or inappropriate or whatever. I really need someone to talk to, and sadly this journal is my only way to do it anymore. My one good friend is in Italy right now, and the girl who is local never messaged me back. Sadly, everyone else I know seems more distant than a bunch of strangers I know on the internet.
Addendum: local agent called me back, and started giving me the business about how she doesn't handle this stuff and I need to talk to the other people who never call me back. Well, I out-bitched her, and now she said that she will call the claims people and get them to tell her what is going on. I think that as soon as we get this settled, we might be switching companies.
Sorry about the family (Score:1)
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Thanks for the support. It's nice to know that someone else is in my corner.
Logically I know I shouldn't be responsible for their happiness, but I'm not sure my mother does. I think she is taking it especially hard because this is the first (school) year that all her kids have been out of the house. It's frustrating that on several occasions she reminds me "you're still a 1ring, whether you like it or not" when I try to dodge her topics of discussion.
She makes me feel like I should be doing more
Glad to hear you got some traction on the car (Score:2)
With your mom, I suppose at some point you are going to have to tell her that you avoid her because you don't like the guilt-trips. And then you are going to have to tell her that if she doesn't want to be called someone-that-lays guilt-trips, she needs to not be someone-that-lays guilt-trips....
That would be a really good line to launch the day before a week-long trip with hubby to elsewhere, w
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The frustrating thing is that the agent doesn't seem overly concerned about what is going on, and insists that handling it "is not [her] job". The next time she asks that I need to remember to ask what exactly her job is then (other than collecting my money). She hasn't called me back yet, not that I really expected her to.
Actually, the line about confronting my mother kind of made me laugh a little bit because it reminded me of a similar such confrontation I had with her a few years ago. I told her
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Well, really I'm here to to see if I can make people laugh. The whole "serving" thing is just a ruse I use to throw people off track. ;-)
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Thanks!
ooh, fun stuff you say? yay! I'm kind of in hiding away from IM for now since the parentals message me every time I log in, but feel free to hit me up on gmail! I'm looking forward to hearing what's up. I check on your multiply every now and then, but you haven't posted much there of late, I guess that's public anyways.
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well... (Score:2)
Hang in there! (Score:2)
Good luck;-)
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Thanks for the support!
I try to work on things every now and then, but don't actually do it as often as I would like to. I end up doing nothing for like days and then work on all my projects at a burst, and then nothing again. Progress is slooooow.