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Journal Anti Globalism's Journal: Universexuality: The New Sexual Revolution

When Robert Stewart was found at the Aberley House Hostel in south west Scotland, desperately trying to have sex with his bike, he couldn't possibly have foreseen the immense effects of his deviant act. Although critics told the case off as "absurd" and "impossible," Robert's case would turn out to be just a small drop in the ocean of a growing trend in our modern society: universexuality.

Just last monday, a middle aged man from Britain was caught trying to insert his penis into a vending machine. "If I hadn't run out of coins, I would have come," the man told the local press. Another shocking incident occurred in the remote town of Bergen, Norway, where the parents to 14-year-old girl Marit Andersen found their daughter trying to masturbate with the gear lever in their new car. "Every time I backed, it was like being banged by an elephant," Marit said before she was taken into custody.

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Universexuality: The New Sexual Revolution

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Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy.