spun's Journal: This was what I wanted

What a great weekend! Mr. Y. and Jenny and I spent the entire weekend together. We hung out Friday night, just talking well into the next morning. It started out with some political discussion, and we are all very much on the same page politically. Then it got into some very deep philosophical discussion. I kinda blew his mind a little. But the best part is when the conversation turned to personal matters. Jenny and I started discussing some of the work I want to do on myself, anger issues, my family and things like that. My opening up like that, and talking about myself in such a non defensive way encouraged him to as well. Jenny said (with only a tinge of jealousy) that he had said things about himself that he'd never even shared with her. Funny thing, Mr. Y. and I have some very similar childhood experiences.

The more I connect with him, the more I like him. This feels so much more balanced. Even Jenny opened up and shared stories I'd never heard in seven years together. We really bonded emotionally. We'd only planned to hang out Friday night, as we had some chores to do Saturday, but we all had such a great time, we ended up just hanging out all weekend.

We fooled around some. This was the second time all three of us have been sexual together. The first time we were hanging out on the couch last weekend and somehow Jenny's skirt and panties disappeared and he was fingering her while I was kissing her, until she got off, and that was that. This time, we all went to the bedroom and it went quite a bit further.

I'd always wondered how he would react, if it would be scary or embarrassing for him because of his ED issues and the fact that he's never before been sexual with another man present. Well, earlier it had all come out that, yes, we all knew each others dirty little secrets, and we were really all okay with that. But in situations like these, ask if you aren't sure. Negotiation is key. So I asked him, "Mr. Y., I really want to have sex with her now, is that okay?" and he said yes, and it was very good.

Both Mr. Y. and I like being dominant during sex, and Jenny loves being submissive. One of the reasons that I've wanted this is that sharing a woman like that is very dominant. Saying what you're going to do to her, or telling the other guy what to do, that's very very hot. BDSM is all about control and power. Specifically, playing at loss of control and taking of someone else's power, when it is really sharing of control and power.

Well, I don't want to get into too many details here, suffice it to say that Saturday was a lot of fun on a different level than Friday night. Sunday we all just hung out and watched movies and didn't really talk much or fool around. It felt like being with old friends, just very comfortable and safe.

Mr. Y. said I was one of the most amazing person he'd ever met. He said he really liked me, and that he felt more connected to me than to his own family. Jenny was amazed, and I almost think I detected a hint of jealousy that he opened up to me like that when he was so closed and defensive with her.

I need a close platonic male friend, and he needs one even more. There's still plenty of opportunity for this all to go horribly, horribly wrong, but it is looking more and more like my initial assessment is right on the money. Things are going how I wanted them to in the beginning.