Hemi Rodner's Journal: Breaking the chains of procrastination?

(More personal stuff, written for myself just to help me organize the thoughts in my head)

As you know, I'm still jobless. I live with my parents so I don't have many expenses, and I've got some savings so I can still finance the things I'm addicted to (internet, fruit juice and folk dances).

But this is a bad state. It allows me to continue staying at home and do nothing..

In my previous work place, I felt like an underdog. I was the only programmer/admin in a group that did completely different things (project management). All the other people had a degree, so they had better conditions than me.. I was the only one arriving to work with a bus.

I decided I can't continue like that. I must improve my situation so I'll feel better in the next job.. so I'm supposed to look for places to study and get some sort of a degree or qualification.

But I'm too lazy and it places me in a deadlock. I avoid looking for a job because I want to get a degree. BUT I'm not looking for a place to study because of the following reasons:

1. Studying will mean "jumping into the cold water", becase I'll be committed to studying so it'll be harder to get a job like that.
2. Studying will cost a lot of my savings and increase my dependency on my parents.. Now I have the option of leaving home, but if I study and it eats my reserves, I wouldn't be able to do so.
3. I don't even know what I want to study:
   1. Computer Science? It's also hard to get accepted into a university which teaches that, since I'll have to spend another year of preparatory studies just to qualify.. there's also another option for fixing that: Improving my finals and studying for the psychometric exam - a thing which will take a year, too.
   2. Design? In my last session of my drawing course, the teacher suggested me to learn design. I liked the sound of it, and the idea, but I have no idea about the demand for designers in the market. Also, where can I study that? There are several places, but each time I go on the internet to try reading about them, I end up browsing totally useless and addicting sites (like this one ;)
   3. Biology. I thought of having a degree in that just for the sake of the degree, so my resume would look nice and I'd be considered an academic person.. it can be an interesting subject all right, but would it help me in life?

I can continue looking for a job, too, but maybe I should advance in life? I could do night studies while working, but it's hard and requires more self discipline (a something I really lack).

You see? So many options, so much time, and I'm still sitting and home doing nothing.

I need someone that would push me. Preferably a magical little fairy like Seraphim (I'd have given a link but MegaTokyo's site has just crashed). Anyway, since it's kinda impossible, I guess that I'll have to go to a psychologist.

What do you think?

I know the feeling

[MiTEG]

For me, the biggest problem is distractions when I'm trying to get something done. So if I have a paper to write (like now), I may think, oh I'll check Slashdot just for a minute, play a quick game of Unreal 2003, check my email, hop on AIM for a second, then before I know it a couple hours has gone by, And the computer is just one distraction. It may be a little different than your problem, but the solution to mine is to go someplace where I'm forced to focus on what I need to do. The library is the most effective place for me but I find the beach much more enjoyable.

The only thing I recommend for choosing your area of study is the pick the subject you have the most interest in.

And for finding a Seraphin, well, if you sit around the house long enough your parents may take on that task.