red5's Journal: Movies out this weekend.

Fuck me there's a lot of movies coming out this week. :)

Since I have nothing better to do I'm going to post my critique on all of them based off of their online trailer.

Bowling for Columbine:
This movie looks funny no doubt about that. It also looks like a whiny leftwing anti second amendment preachfest. I'm waiting for the video.

White Oleander:
Oprah book club garbage turned mainstream hollywood garbage. Total chick flick. Those with with Y chromosome need not apply.

Brown Sugar:
This movie looks good. I like the original premise. Two great friends for life that happen to be of the opposite sex. They have that spark but never got around to heating things up. Does he marry this new girl or does his friend stand up and confess her true feelings. I want to know. I'd probably be the only white guy in the theater though so I'll wait for the video.

Tuck Everlasting:
What's this movie about? I don't give a shit. I just love how all the television spots have been promoting it as "the next great Disney classic." and not really saying anything about the movie itself. Does the world really need another "Classic" Disney movie. I'm not even renting this movie.

Knockaround Guys:
This movie looks way too cool. The sons of some big wise guys want to prove themselves to their fathers. They get a simple job: transport the money from location A to B. Of course they lose the money and things get crazy from there. Vin Diesel is in it. I'm a big Vin Diesel fan. There are a lot of other good actors in this movie as well, like John Malkovich and Dennis Hopper.

I've been waiting for this movie to come out forever. It kept getting pushed back. Hell they even pushed it back to make room for "I Am Sam". Did anybody actually see that lame ass movie? I am so seeing it this weekend if not friday.

Pokémon the 4th Movie:
Do you mean there have been 3 Pokémon movies already. when will the insanity end?

The Rules of Attraction:
This move looks like it could be good. I just hope that vander geek can pull it off. If he does it just might be the next Go.

Swept Away:
I'm a huge Guy Ritchie fan so I'm going to see it even though it doesn't look like my kind of movie. Not to say that it looks bad. It looks good but it seems like a lighthearted romantic comedy. Which is not exactly my style.

Punch-Drunk Love:
This movie looks like Adam Sandler's last ditch effort to gain acceptance as a serious actor, and not just a wacky "Jerry Louse" type. This could be great, or it could be carp. It'll be fun to see if he has what it takes though. I'll probably see it in theaters but I'm in no hurry to do so.

Below:
Ooh a hunted WW2 Sub. I'm getting scared ... hold me. *Eye roll*. I'll wait for it to be on TV or something.

The Transporter:
Last and totally not least. The Transporter. Nobody does action like Luc Besson (Subway, La Femme Nikita, Leon the professional, Kiss of the Dragon). When he's in his element nobody can touch him, but when he strays (The Messenger) well lets not talk about that. The point it that Luc Besson is in his element this time I just hope the director (Corey Yuen) didn't fuck it up

This movie was supposed to come out last month but it was delayed because they wanted to market it some more. I was so pissed when I heard that. I'm seeing it fridaynight come hell or highwater. :)

Mmmm...Movies

[Some Woman]

Fuck me there's a lot of movies coming out this week.

Ummm...I'll pass. :)

Tuck Everlasting

In Disney's defense, it is a fairly well-known children's book. I enjoyed it back in the day when you were smart if you read a whole entire chapter book. If I recall, it is about a family that finds a way to live forever. I don't know how much I trust Disney to filmify a book. They did a decent job with Mulan, though.

Pokémon the 4th Movie:
Do you mean there have been 3 Pokémon movies already. when will the insanity end?

When every single "little monster" has it's own movie. Muwahahaha!

whiny leftwing anti second amendment preachfest.

Huh? Did somebody call my name? :)

Re:Mmmm...Movies

[red5]

In Disney's defense, it is a fairly well-known children's book.

Ah ha! It all makes sence now it is the next Disney movie in true Disney spirt.

1) Find public great origional Domain work.
2) Make movie out of it.
3) Hog all the credit and copyright it till the end of time.

Oops

[red5]

That should be "Find great origional public domain work"

Re:Mmmm...Movies

[Liora]

Hey! Pay attention here...

Tuck Everlasting is a superb children's book that I remember reading when I was a kid, and liking immensely. This is going to be a good movie. But it's going to be a feel-good movie. It's not going to be (1) a guy film, (2) an adult film, or (3) a remotly tolerably unhopelessly romantic film. If you don't like feel-good movies, don't watch it.

See, we know it's going to be good, because it is starring my favorite actress right now: Alexis Bledel... who plays Rory on WB's Gilmore Girls (the one hour of TV I watch per week because it is perspicacity meets girlie dramedy). She wouldn't be in it if it weren't good, I already know.

If you really want to know what I think it's going to be like, since you watch art films, maybe you can relate... there was this one art film around 4 years ago that had a great really pretty soundtrack, set around 1900, with this guy and girl who gamble, and something about a small church and taking the building on a raft to some remote location, and him dying when the raft sinks. If you know the movie I'm talking about, trust me on this: Tuck Everlasting will be similiar. Sorry I can't remember the name... I'm really bad about remembering the names of movies and their cast members.

Re:Mmmm...Movies

[red5]

Hmm I feel I might have left the wrong impression.

(1) a guy film,

Okay I deserved that.

(2) an adult film

Are you saying I watch p0rn?

(3) a remotly tolerably unhopelessly romantic film.

You see since I usually see movies alone I don't go to a lot of chick flicks or romantic comedies. Those aren't the kind of movies you see alone.

Gilmore girls is a good show. I don't go out of my way to watch it but if I'm home and it's on I will. I'm more partial to Lauren Graham though. She way too fine.

As for the art film I have no idea what film your talking about. It sounds interesting though.

Re:Mmmm...Movies

[Real World Stuff]

You forgot:

4)PROFIT!!!

Re:Mmmm...Movies

[red5]

Well since It's disney I figured it went without saying. Of course since it's disney it's more like.

4) Profit (movie)
5) Profit (merchandise)
6) Profit (more merchandise)
...
11) Profit (even more merchandise)

Re:Mmmm...Movies

[Some Woman]

You forgot...

12) Profit (extend copyright, rerelease movie with "digitally enhanced footage")

whiny leftwing anti second amendment preachfest

[banky]

Heh... I really like Michael Moore, but sometimes he can get a little annoying. By pointing out some of the idiocy of both sides, he has to ignore the problems in his own arguments.

Although I'm really into his idea that Dems and Reps are really just the same party now.

Re:whiny leftwing anti second amendment preachfest

[red5]

I've actually never heard of him till now so I'm opinion is based solely off of the movie trailer.

Looking at the trailer it looks like.:
I think that the second amendment is out of date and should taken out of the constitution. Here is my movie were I go around the country and interview the most insane gun owners I can find and then portray them as the average gun owners.

Re:whiny leftwing anti second amendment preachfest

[banky]

Well, you're right: he does do that. and in fact, his biggest criticism from people that REALLY want to support him is he does things like that. Unfettered by journalistic principles, he can do what he wants.

In The Onion this week, there's a review; check it out. It expands more on Moore as well as the film. Basically he sets people up, and sometimes his targets aren't really skilled at that kind of scenario to get out of it. It's not a question of intelligence, really; smart people talk themselves into holes all the time. It's just that this kind of attack is Moore's trademark, and he's refined it for many years.

I like Moore. I really do. I think in some way, what he does is necessary to cut through the insipid political bullshit that surrounds any heated issue, be it guns or stem cells or whatever the hot-button is this week. He's totally dead on that there is only really one political party in the US. And he's got some good insights on the political power of corporations.

It's just that as he isn't.. culpable? I guess? He can say what he wants, which isn't always a good thing.

Hmmm

[sielwolf]

I'm a big Bret Easton Ellis fan and loved Marion Herron's American Psycho. I'm looking forward to Rules of Attraction but with some hesitence: Dawson and Fred Savage just make it sound more like Less than Zero ie lets churn out a movie high schoolers can say is "thought provoking" while ruining everything the original book offered. But I'm crossing my fingers.

I've also heard that The Transporter is sadly more like recent Luc Besson (The Messenger) than earlier (Leon). Also a Hong Kong cinematographer did the action. I'm getting tired of this boilerplate adaptation of HK cinema. I'll probably go see it anyway.

Now Knockaround Guys... wasn't this movie supposed to come out last spring? I remember seeing coming attractions for it then. I have a feeling it will be a "Shelved for Good Reasons" sort of movie.

Other than that I think I might just get drunk and watch The Karate Kid.

"Sweep the leg, Johnny!"

"Get him a bodybag! Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah!!!"

Re:Hmmm

[red5]

I've also heard that The Transporter is sadly more like recent Luc Besson (The Messenger) than earlier (Leon). Also a Hong Kong cinematographer did the action. I'm getting tired of this boilerplate adaptation of HK cinema. I'll probably go see it anyway.

I'm a little worried also. The last movie I was this excited about also stared Jason Statham. It was also made by one of the legends of action cinema (John Carpenter) It was ... "Ghosts of Mars" and if you haven't seen it. DON'T! It sucked so bad... I'm just hoping that this movie isn't jinxed too.

I am also getting tired of all this "Hong Kong style" as of late. For gods sake Crouching Tiger wasn't that good and there was a lot more to it than the fight choreography. You can't take a lame movie, sprinkle on a little Kung Fu and wind up with then next Crouching Tiger. I wish there was some way to explain that to Hollywood.

As for Knockaround guys. Another movie that was similarly delayed "Who is Cletis Tout" I liked this movie a lot as I've mentioned in a previous JE.

Re:Hmmm

[sielwolf]

Too late! Saw Ghosts of Mars. *groan* when did Carpenter decide that he should plagerize his own material (since it was just a rip off of Assault on Precinct 13 crosswed with a little The Thing).

Delayed movies can be good or bad... remember that James Spader movie Supernova? God... You know. I suddenly realized I've seen a lot of bad movies.

Re:Hmmm

[red5]

remember that James Spader movie Supernova?

Thankfully no. A few friends of mine saw it first and warned me. I haven't heard one positive review of that movie.

Supernova

[Some Woman]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

The horror, the horror!

If I wanted to see shit like that, I would turn on the SciFi channel at 2 am.