We enter week 20 now knowing that we shall have a daughter.
We had another set of ultrasounds done today. I'm thinking by the end we will have a flip book; "Here's one when you were a blob. (ala Stern), Here's one when your fingers were just nubs, here's one where you looked like Charlie Brown...etc
Amy is doing well, she not nearly as big this time. For some reason it's reassuring. We, as a couple, are starting to come out of our protective shell. It's really tough not getting excited, but at the same time we need to get excited to a point. We don't want to get burned again, but we also want to bond with Maddy as much as possible. It's a weird balancing act. I think if we can get passed we 25 then we'll breathe a brief sigh of relief. Then we need to get past Zach's birthday. Dang, his first birthday is coming up fast. I think I scheduled the day off. That will probably be a tough day for both Amy and me.
It helps knowing though that he's looking out for us, and his baby sister. In a way I wish I could have both of them, Zach and Madelyn. But I know I couldn't. That's one of the cruel twists of life.
We went shopping after the sonagram, we bought 2 newborn girl outfits, and a pink bunny. I picked out the bunny. Amy and I have this agreement, I think we do atleast, we can start buying stuff now. However if we lose Madelyn, everything we bought will get donated to some charity.
In the mean time, I'm planning on enjoying the fact that we have a daughter, who seems to be healthy. And from now on I will always have one.
One saying keeps ringing in my ears:
"When you have a boy, all you worry about is one little boy.
When you have a girl, you worry about all the little boys" - not sure who said it, but I like it.