HomelessInLaJolla's Journal: 140924 (cookbook)

Today is Wednesday the twenty-fourth day of September in 2014 A.D.

Here's one for the recipe book.

White-Brain Human

Save the poo from several different humans for a few days. Mix it in a large bowl. Allow to dry. Continue to mix and dry but retain consistency. Do not overdry.

Obtain a skin sack from somewhere. Epidermis. Enough for a sack. Like a haggis.

Obtain tissue samples from major organs. Maybe Fisher or Aldrich will sell to you a few cell lines and a dish could be cultured for each. Cardiac, spleen, liver, brain, a section of tripe, name a few more.

Surgical gauze. Lots of it. A turkey pan. Two or three gallons of water.

Pump the skin sack full of the conglomerate poo. Insert the organ bits in the approximate locations. Use bone fragments of significant length at the arms, legs, spin, skull, ribs, and hips. Seal the skin sack. Wrap the skin sack to about three-quarters inch thick surgical gauze. Place the wrapped skin sack in the turkey pan and fill with water to half the level of the wrapped sack.

Pre-heat your oven to 500 degrees. If you have a ceramic kiln, so much the better.

Toss the turkey pan into the oven and replenish the water as necessary. Conventional oven may take a few hours, ceramic kiln could be done is as little as ten minutes, depending upon kiln power and proper poo to organ tissue ratios.

When you hear a sound from the oven, you have your very own nephilim. The sons of heaven, the baby with the bathwater, wrapped up in the pressed paper, because the old bathwater is used to soak the leaves..

The white-brained human will have wings. If you are following the kingdom of heaven script then you will promptly tear those off. The white-brained human will also take some time before it actually does anything. The newly steam-pressed brain will be somewhat confused and it may spend several months or even years sitting on your couch assimilating information and figuring out what the #$%& is going on. If you are following the kingdom of heaven script then you will promptly beat the ever loving #$% beejeezus out of the newly pressed white-brain in carefully choreographed training sequences to give it some experience and guidance in the architecture of the running society.

The resulting human will be male. There is no possible way to press a new female. The brain inside the new male is capable of unraveling, unfolding, unrolling, turning inside out to pop up to a female. The quest to coax the brain to unroll before the male is a capable and mature partner has been going on for hundreds of thousands of years, if not longer, on this planet alone. It cannot be done. The newly pressed human could, conceivably, unroll within a few years. If significant damage is done to the new human, as in the kingdom of heaven script, there is a point known as "being kicked out of the garden", past which the resulting human will be required to endeavor at least 2500 miles of hard walking to enter recovery mode. Further abuse following the kicked out of the garden threshold is irrelevant to the hard walking distance from the recovery mode.

One advantage of your home-cooked nephilim is that it will not have the rumplestilskin and, when it does figure out what is going on, its brain will not be all distorted, contorted, clogged, and scuttled down to the brain stem (kicked out of the garden). Perhaps you could teach it to sing.

Is possible to use poo from only one human. The resulting nephilim will act like a real human baby and will be intent on improving you (a la the path of the Lord). You will probably think the "baby" is destroying your life and you will have it killed. It is possible to press a new human without bone fragments but the product will require extra-sensitive care in the first six months else it will be extremely distorted, miserable and unhappy; a wading pool is ideal.

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