blazin's Journal: Uneven?!?!?

What.... the.... ?!?!

I look in the mirror today at work while washing me hands. My right side... like .5 inches lower sideburns than the left side. I, literally, did not catch myself from saying "WTF!" in the middle of work (I said nothing because talking in the men's room is just strange).

That's right, talking. The men's room is the place to go in, do your business and leave*. Don't have a conversation in there. Especially don't have a cell phone conversation. Don't make a call, don't receive a call, and don't continue talking on the phone while you're heading in there.

First off, your aim isn't that great, and with one less hand and less than half the attention given, it's no wonder the floor is wet all day long.

Secondly, if you are in the restroom, let's say sitting, obviously aim is not an issue, so there's got to be another reason.

I'd like to be that reason. I don't want people to talk to me on the phone whilst they are pooping, and I'm sure most people don't either. If you come into the restroom and plop yourself down and start using the phone (either because you called someone or someone called you), if I am sitting in there too, I am going to do my best to embarrass you by making all sorts of sounds in the next stall. I will try to be as flatulent as possible, even resorting to making fart sounds if I have to. I will force things out causing all manner of splashing and gurling sounds. The restroom echos. If they didn't already realize you were talking to them in the restroom by now, they may suggest you go to the doctor and get something checked out.

If I don't know you, I may** even say things like "Water sure is cold today, huh?" to which you should reply "And deep too."

I swear... I'm gonna shave my sideburns evenly one of these days... (Thanks for FK for the topic and some of these words).

* If you happen to bring in reading material, please don't leave it in the restroom and if you're going to do that sort of thing anyway, please don't share the reading material with your coworkers afterwards or put it on your desk, or worse, theirs, etc. That's just nasty.
** I will not say these things because that would fall under talking in the men's room.

Things to do while in the men's room

[winkydink]

Might as well make good use of your time [slashdot.org].

Thanks...

[NeeNee3]

for making me laugh! That cracked me up...and I really needed a good laugh today. :-)

Re:Thanks...

[blazin]

Any time. I am glad you enjoyed it.

bravo

[subgeek]

nice JE.

Re:bravo

[blazin]

Thank you.

No kidding

[M.C. Hampster]

And guys, let's please observe the "one urinal buffer" rule when possible. If you walk into a bathroom and their are three urinals, please take the far left or the far right. This means the next guy can take the opposite and you have a buffer. If you take the middle, then the next guy WILL HAVE TO STAND RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. Really, what are you thinking??

Re:No kidding

[blazin]

No kidding. There used to be a little flash game with various scenarios involving a 5 urinal wall installation and various configurations of other users. The goal was to pick the correct urinal to use. There was only one correct answer in each case... I think the final answer was to walk out the door because there was no urinal you could use without violating the guy urinal code...

Ha! Urinal code was the google phrase I was looking for. The game is here. [flasharcade.com]

It requires flash.

Re:No kidding

[M.C. Hampster]

Wonderful, I'll be sending that to everyone I know :-)