AB3A's Journal: Party Crashers

For the last several years, my wife and I have been holding a kite party at our place every spring. We invite a bunch of friends, tell them to bring kites and we fly them on our hay field.

I supply home brew beer, a main dish or some such, and even a few spare kites. If the wind dies down we play with the potato gun.

We've had interesting parties in past years. One year we go strafed by a helicopter, and this year we had our first party crasher. Frankly, I don't mind. She brought her own kite and she certainly was nice enough. However, this crasher brought something else: Her business cards and flyers all over my guest's cars.

Yeah, she was in to real-estate. I graciously waited until she was alone and then approached her and explained I'm flattered that she chose to crash my party. We must be doing something right. Gosh, if she wanted to crash the party next year, I wouldn't object. "However," I asked, "please leave the cards and flyers at home." Using my private party to scout for new business ranks pretty high up on my list of rude behavior.

Then she began prattling about how she knew of a widow who lived on an eight acre farm in a 105 year old farm house whose husband had just died and she sold out for only $600k. She would have tried for $1.4M. Uh huh. Interesting numbers. They're not far off from what my house and farm might be worth. Thing is, it's all academic. My wife and I have no plans to sell out any time in the near future. This bitch had been snooping on me too. She got nowhere.

The moment our party crasher left, everything got in to high gear. Our guests were all laughing and joking about her. We killed one keg of home brew pilsner and did more damage to the next keg of pale ale. Oh, I should mention, this ain't no sissy beer either. I measured alcohol content at about 7% by volume.

Had our crasher stayed, she might have been good for target practice --using rotten potatos...