The Magic Mouse is physically capable of doing most of, if not all, the things you mentioned. It's just a matter of responding to the input from the driver side, which the default Apple driver does not. Perhaps there is some legal problem with patents that's holding it up?
But google for "BetterTouchTool". It's a freeware tool that lets you customize the mouse (and trackpad, if you have a laptop) to do all sorts of cool things. I have my mouse set up so that two-finger click is a middleclick, and three-finger click toggles exposé. There's also stuff like multi-finger swipes, and tapping (as opposed to clicking). But not pinch or rotate yet.