why is it that people seem to twist things that i have said without bothering to try to read the intent? yes, i am sometimes ineloquent, but, come on, i'm not running for office here. is there a good reason to either

a.) not bother to read what i have said and respond to it anyway or

b.) intentionally misinterpret/selectively ignore parts of what i have written.

it seems there are few people in the world (on this messageboard?) who see the value in having a conversation as a means of coming to a deeper understanding, rather than proving that they're right or that someone else is wrong. it's almost as bad as posting to a political messageboard. v. frustrating.

the show opens tonight and i am bouncing off the walls. my focus is totally off. i was able to concentrate on work earlier today because GUI mockups require so much attention to detail that i could dissolve myself in them, but now, as the end of the day approaches, i'm trying to do some reading and it's just not happening.

i was feeling patently unattractive when i woke up this morning. actually, i've felt quite unattractive since i saw the photos from the run. granted, the costume is not the best sort of outfit for my body type and it will never be, but it just reminds me of how much more weight i have to lose. 20lb. it's a lot.

so i put on hotpants today. and i let my hair dry down. i need that reminder that i have nice legs because i can't afford to shake my confidence when i have to perform tonight. yes, it's true, i should just work through my body image issues and accept the way i look blah blah blah, but in the meantime, i'm going to engage the short-term fix and make-believe that i look like i want to whenever i'm not actually looking at pictures of myself.

i smoked last night. i shouldn't do that. my lungs hurt. well, not lungs, but breathing pathway. it feels better now than it did this morning, but there's nothing like inhaling hot smoke to make your body unhappy with you. at least i'm not hungover though.

what kind of dorkus uses /. as a replacement blog?

okay, this sucks. like really.

i was so good. i went cold turkey. i was so productive at work. now, the instant there's something i don't want to do, it's slashdot.org.

my karma is excellent. this is a bad sign. means i've been spending too much time here.

if only new articles didn't come out so frequently, i'd be able to resist. if only they weren't interesting. craigslist holds no temptation for me. there is only slashdot.

i tell myself i'm getting better informed. it's not really true, but at least i know better than to use IE.

dear slashdot:

you are always here for me when i need you. when work gets to be too much. when i just can't think anymore. when i absolutely need to know right now what the most recent technological development in the northern part of spain is. but it's too much. i think we need some space.

i appreciate you, and you're an important part of my life, but there are other things in my life too. like work. i never get any work done anymore. that's the main thing really.

anyway, it's not like i think we shouldn't be exclusive anymore or anything like that, but i might just need some time on my own. some me time. i hope you understand.