I'll have you know, sir, that my brother-in-law is a COLLEGE dropout selling cell phones at radioshack!
There is a mandatory day-one firmware update, which is just north of 300 MB. If you have an internet connection and a USB drive (aka, if you are reading this) go to PSN to pre-download.
The Constitution does doesn't say that everybody gets medical care.
However, the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act says (massively simplifying here) that all hospitals must treat all seriously sick patients.
The Constitution is not the end all and be all of American Federal law.
"The upshot of this is that Apple has the ability to read users' messages if it so chooses."
I do not think upshot means what you think it means.
If he is in MA, he can buy healthcare from the state exchange for a lot less than $1300/month.
Why don't they just construct additional pylons?
Then we won't get to see it for over 600 years.