Maybe it'd be worth bringing this suggestion up to your employer, but I could see a value in making testing rooms that are effectively giant Faraday cages. It certainly wouldn't help against peer to peer network capable devices but it'd go a long way toward blocking cell/wifi. It's not like it's hard or expensive to construct a room in such a way to block such signals.

Just an ordinary gas cloud... but watch out, because that's no ordinary gas cloud!

That's funny. I thought a coronal mass ejection was what happened after I ate at Chipotle. I've not had a lot of luck getting volunteers to watch that.

Instead, perhaps you could suggest beanies with attached propellers. People could choose a particular beanie style (rainbow, striped, solid or camo) that fits them best. I'm guessing that this is the way your management would like IT to "stand out".

I was picked up and charged under my real name (with no known aliases) for one of the many stupid things that I did.

The subsequent dozens of powerpoint presentations and other associated material about the other things I did all reference my aliases.

I suppose it never occurred to you that all of those warnings people gave you about your actions following you for the rest of your life were accurate? I am in nearly the exact same situation as you except that I am lucky enough to have never had my real name associated with my alias at the time. However, I did not avoid a criminal record as you obviously did. I'm pretty sure you knew exactly what you were doing at the time and that there were possible repercussions for your actions. Now, part of being an adult is living with the life you've made for yourself.