Felber's, as well as about every other bar, has a programmable light-box text display. The above message is on it at the moment.
I was amused. "Did you know," I told Tami, who was incredibly uninterested and acted as if even if she had been interested she wouldn't have believed me, "that it's a felony under Federal law to figure out that the sign is really pig Latin and figure out what it says?"
"Yeah?" she yawned. "Bullshit. What law? That's stupid!"
"No shit," I insisted. "It's called the Digital Millineum Copyright Act."
"So are we getting another beer, or are we going to Ralph's? I want to give those baby clothes to Linda."
It seems one must be a nerd to give a shit about the DMCA. Of course, most people have even less respect for the government and the laws it writes than I do. Only half of eligible voters even show up to the polls. The fact that the thoroughly ridiculous DMCA passed with a unanimous vote is the reason why voters won't vote. Lets see, the Democrats are for the DMCA and the Republicans are for the DMCA and if I vote Green or Libertarian the newspapers say I've wasted my vote, why even bother?
Speaking of newspapers, some Stoner wrecked her car.
Woman uninjured in crash
A 20-year-old Tennessee woman was involved in a single-vehicle accident at Illinois 108 and Interstate 55 in Montgomery County Wednesday afternoon.
Ashley N. Stoner of Ashley City, Tenn., was heading east on 108 about 12:30 p.m. and attempted to head south onto the interstate, according to Illinois State Police. As she was making a right-hand turn onto the entry ramp, her 2000 Chevrolet Cavalier hit some loose gravel, slid off the ramp and rolled onto its roof.
Stoner was able to climb out of the overturned car uninjured.
No citations were issued.
Even though this is Springfield, where Gail Simpson is one of our less cartoonish aldermen, I still had to look twice to make sure I was looking at the State Journal-Register instead of The Onion.
I let Tami use my car this morning, and she picked me up for lunch and we ate some fat's food at McDeadCow. She's as much a readaholic as I am, maybe even worse, so of course she had the newspaper. The main front page headline in about seventy two point type screamed:
The text sounded like an Onion story, too:
As a credit card-carrying member of Cardinal Nation, taunting Chicago Cubs fans is part of an unspoken oath Jamie Toland took when he pledged his allegiance to St. Louis' baseball team.
"I felt that it was sort of my duty to dislike the Cubs because of the rivalry," Toland said. "I was ruthless and vindictive. I've been to Wrigley Field lots of times, but it was to root against the Cubs."
I've never seen such looser losers as the Cubs. Even in World War Two when they played the World Series against cripples (bacause the able bodied men of the "best generation" were in Asia and Europe shooting at each other) they STILL lost.
Tami's a Cubs fan. People stare when we walk into a bar together and she's wearing her Cubs hat and I'm wearing the Cardinals t-shirt she bought me.
The Cubs do have the best fans of all sports teams. My daughter Patty says it's cheap to go see a Reds game, because the stadium is always empty. If the Cardinals did half as bad as the Cubs, their fans would burn the brewery down.
Oh, by the way, speaking of beer, I sincerely hope you didn't decipher this journal's subject, you damned criminal!