Actually, I think it's a problem that the anti-systemd forces keep going on about "the unix way" and what-not... haven't they been paying attention to the way things really work? (Hint: if esr says it, it's probably not quite right. )
You are right, this is the main problem. I like working "the unix way" and this is why I like Linux. The moment you change this, all the fun will go away. And fun is very important for me when I work.
Perl kicked Bourne butt by merging nearly everything you want into one process-- that's something you'd think a sysadmin would've noticed.
Right again. But you have a choice to use Perl or not. It is not like installing Perl will make it impossible for you to use your loving shell.