hate to break it to ya (Score 1)

but SQL Server is configured to seize a specific amount of RAM at bootup. I think it defaults to 64, though it may be higher. This is where the huge RAM hit is coming from. And if you think about it, giving an SQL server a bunch of RAM initially makes more sense than having it request more every time someone runs a query. Personally, my SQL servers are all dedicated machines. You may not notice a performance degradation with a web server until it gets busy but a single complex query and you'll be doing anything you can for a few extra CPU cycles :)