I, on the other hand, have *actually* attended many Ruby conferences (to pick one of these communities). I've attended: RailsConf, MWRC, LA RubyConf, GoGaRuCo
Here are some REAL experiences that I've had while attending Ruby conferences:
- I've seen a good (growing) number of female attendees
- I've seen a female speakers
- I've seen conference organizers react to potentially offensive content by getting on stage and asking the audience if the content was offensive to anyone (and following up by reiterating how open and accepting he wanted the conference to be)
- I've overhead and participated in multiple conversations with men and women actually TALKING with one another about the community and what Rubyists do well/poorly to attract women programmers. I recently experienced this at MWRC 2012 and GoGaRuCo 2011. Men and women talking ABOUT the current experiences of women in our community. How could this *possibly* be ignorant, when we're actually making it a topic of conversation and trying to do better?
At my current workplace, most of our developers are young men. But we also have women and older men.
ALL software communities should do what they can to provide an open, accepting environment to all.
Personal bias: I'm a professional developer. I currently code Ruby, but I have also professionally used (and enjoyed using) NoSQL databases (Mongo/Cassandra and Redis/Memcached key/value stores), relational databases (SQL Server/MySQL/Postgres/sqlite), scripting languages (Ruby/JS(CoffeeScript/Dart)/PHP/Python), other languages (C#/VB.NET/Boo, Java).