mercedo's Journal: Gone With The Wind

Hi Mercedo! I'm well thanks. I have been meaning to mail you. My situation has changed since we last met, and I really can't continue to meet you like we did before. I would like to remain friends if you want, but that's all I can offer you. I hope things work out well for you. Have a lovely New Year, and take care.

Gone with the wind. But before she has gone, my soul was already gone with the wind.

My struggle with loneliness continue.

mercedo

[weierstrass]

you shouldn't be lonely. and if you are you shouldn't let it get you down

remember it's better to be alone than to be with others but still feel alone.
enjoy your own energy, space and time.

Re:mercedo

[mercedo]

She was the fourth girl who's accompanied with me since I started having romantic relations with any woman for the first time at age 30. Before 30, I just kept on failing to have any physical relations with any woman. I mean my chastity kept on till age 30. I mean I was unable to break out the cocoon of my own realm till age 30. So throughout my 20s, I had been always alone, spending all day &night long only either in my study or in library reading tens of thousands of books exactly literally.

So I think

Re:mercedo

[weierstrass]

>Nevertheless I seek for girls, therefore life is meaningful.

do you mean that girls make life meaningful, or that searching for girls makes life meaningful?

Re:mercedo

[mercedo]

The last sentence was rather ambiguous. I meant a girl makes my life meaningful. It is of no use spending our precious time in searching for girls. In other words, who to get along with doesn't make a lot of sense, but it is meaningful for us to get along with a woman whoever she is even if we happen to have such relations with the woman. I mean 'with who' doesn't matter, but 'how' to get along with a woman whoever she is, that matters.

I don't have girlfriend, that is the question. As long as I have human r