mcgrew's Journal: Drinking and nerding don't mix...

I ran across "Kay" at the bar the other night. Since she lives northwest of downtown and doesn't drive, she doesn't get to Felbers on the southeast side much. "Ms Lady" showed up as I was chatting to Kay and said "hi". I wound up giving Kay a ride home, a promise to hook up her new cable box and fix a trashed PC, and a goodnight kiss. Which was risky, since she has AIDS and I had chapped lips.

Ms. lady dropped by the next morning. "Who was that blonde?" she asked. Ms Lady was jealous? "Don't worry about her," I replied. "There's no way I could be intimate with her."

"Why not?"

"Er, um... look, she really doesn't want anybody to know it so don't say anything, ok? She's HIV positive."

Ms. Lady then told a sordid tale of something bad that had recently happened to her, and I'm starting to suspect that this woman is schitzophrenic. There are a few forms of that disease, and I had a friend quite a long time ago who had the same type I suspect Ms Lady has -- he was convinced he was an Air Force pilot in Vietnam. I believed him until I found out how old he was. I figured Chuck to be a few years older than me, but he was a lot younger than he looked, and was twelve when the war ended. Some of the things Ms. Lady says is starting to make me wonder about her.

Especially since I seem to attract the nut ladies. Why is someone with her money after me? I'm not poor, but jees, her kitchen is as big as my house. She's driving her third new car in a year. She never lets me pay!

We watched a little of Cool World before she dragged me off to bed.

After she went home I went to the bank, where I found that I'd made a stupid math mistake in my checkbook and was overdrawn by two bucks. Damn, broke again! But I'd filled the pantry and fridge, and bought pot, so I really didn't need any money for anything but gasoline; I could drink on a tab, and work and the bar are both walking distance. I went back up to Felbers, grumbling about the bank -- they were part of the problem, having not mentioned a fee when I'd checked my balance.

A woman I barely knew and don't even remember her name gave me a twenty and a hug as her biker husband played the gambling videos. "Wow," I said, "thank you. Are you going to be here Friday? That's payday and I can pay you back then."

"No, but we'll be here Saturday. But don't worry about it."

Both Ms lady and Kay had promised to go to church with me Sunday. Neither one answered their phones that morning. I was a bit hung over, and didn't remember having anything for the collection plate as I forgot about the twenty, so decided to stay home. I was watching Sisko save Odo and Garak from the Dominion when the phone rang. It was Kay.

"Hi, you called? I just got up."

"Uh, yeah, I kinda missed church this morning. Want to go to Felber's for a couple of beers later? I'll hook up that box and bring your computer home and fix it for you."

"Sure, what time?"

"In a couple of hours. I'll call you." I had a few household chores to do, and it was only nine in the morning. She might drink that early, I don't know, but I don't like starting before noon, especially on Sunday, since it's a bit cold and snowy outside and I didn't want to walk to work because I'd left the car at the bar.

I ate breakfast and washed three day's worth of dishes and swept the floor and thought better of cleaning the bathroom, and rolled a joint and put a movie in instead, and scanned the local paper while watching it. Seems that Mr. Burns is retiring as head of the Springfield power plant, this a month after Mayor Quimby alledgedly shot himself. I say "allegedly" because there's something about it that just seems fishy, but I can't put my finger on it.

The bad economy may put the kibosh on the St. Patrick's Day parade, which always happens the Saturday before St. Patrick's day. I have few doubts the bar owners will pony up, since they extract shitloads of gold pressed latinum from pretty much every drinker in town on that day. However, the parade folks ought to get some cash from other Ferengis then, too -- a lot of restaraunts and shops who are normally closed on Saturdays are open just for the parade and the latinum it garners. Um, is there a Rule of Acquisition for that?

I wonder how the under construction and controversial high speed rail will affect the parade once it's finished?

Bored with the local news and with the movie over, I called Kay, and drove over to her apartment. "Want a beer?" she asked. Do cardinals shit on your car? Do cubs shit in the woods? Of course I wanted a beer! She poured two and handed me one as I was hooking up her new cable box. I turned it on, and it said "downloading software". It took a good twenty minutes to get to 100%, then said "flashing BIOS, do not turn off your TV". Then the screen went snowy, then black.

"My daughter got a new MP3 player, but she can't afford iTunes", Kay said.

"You don't need iTunes," I told her. "You can rip MP3s from CDs."

"You can? Really?"

"Sure! Look, stick a CD in you computer's CD drive." She did. "OK, see that menu?"

After I showed her how to rip MP3s and play CDs on the computer we decided to go to the bar. So we loaded the other virus-laden, unworkable computer in my back seat and went to Felber's.

The plan was to just go for a couple of beers and come back and see if the cable box was done working yet. It didn't work out that way; we were still at Felber's at 3:30, and the drawing is between 4:00 and 7:00, the pot is up to $250 and I needed the money. By eight we were drunk (and the pot rolled over), and I started talking about taking her home. Neither Ruthie nor Mike would hear of it, and I arranged to have her driven home, and snuck out before somebody gave ME a ride home; I didn't want to walk to work the next day, since it was supposed to be freezing rain.

Twenty minutes after I got home the phone rang. "Where'd you go? My TV won't work! How am I supposed to watch TV? You deserted me!"

"Look, I was too drunk to drive or work on your box so I arranged your ride home. I'll drop by after work tomorrow and get it going, OK?"

"But I want to watch TV now!" She started cursing and I hung up on her; she was even more plastered than I was. It was ten by then and I went to bed.

The next morning the clock woke me up. That doesn't happen very often, I'm usually awake an hour earlier. I had a terrible hangover and was worthless at work. I called her at lunch offering to come by after work and look at her cable box.

"I called them and they talked me throuh it. All by myself!"

"I'll make a nerd out of you yet!" I told her. Then Amy called. "Wanna kick it with me tonight?" she asked, apparently having gotton a little cash.

"Sorry, Amy, I don't think I'm drinking today." They didn't seee me at Felber's for two more days. I wiped Kay's drive and installed kubuntu, and tried in vain to get my own box (which temporarily has Mandriva 2005) working again; while drunk I somehow associated every file type there is with Aramok, and now I can't even get the file manager working right. No matter what I click on, the damned computer just starts playing music. I have to figure out what file holds those data and change it. I've been away from Linux way too long!

But... it seems to be better all the time. It took three years after Evil-X left for me to get as much as a dinner date, nowdays I seldom get lonely. And I keep getting a better class of women.

Maybe some day I'll get one that's not batshit crazy.