mcgrew's Journal: Cops

I've never heard such a sweet lie in my life. But since I had a Viagra pill, and I used it, maybe she wasn't lying after all. She was panting and sweating after all, as was I.

"Damn!" she said after we finished, panting. "You're better than a vibrator!"

Sweet, sweet lies.

Amy had gone back to her boyfriend, who hadn't thrown her out for long this time. Charlie, on the other hand, was stuck with me. Luckily she had teh presence of mind to be scarce when the lady mentioned above came by.

Before that, I was in my daughter's bed, as she's not using it, Amy was in my bed, as it's hard as a rock and I only use it whan my daughter's in town, and Charlie was on the couch, when the doorbell rang about two in the morning. On a work night.

"There's some woman named Snake that wants in," Charlie said.

"Tell her to go away."

I'd told her to drop by some time, but NOT at two in the morning on a work night! She made some threats to Charlie before leaving.

My youngest daughter got into town from Ohio, making for a mostly pleasant weekend. Linda was doing better, and I took her CD player and some CDs and stuff to her.

She was told about Tami drugging me and stealing form me, and she went OFF. Amazing that someone as short as her can be so scary; she must get it from my dad.

I'm told I'm like that too.

She had Charlie take her to confront Lucifer. Patty literally scared the piss out of her.

"I've never seen anybody so scared," Charlie said. "She pissed her pants!"

On the down side to having my youngest in town, I had to eat dinner with my ex-wife. At least it was at D'Arcy's. Then Evil-X showed up at my house, as Patty had some early presents.

I got season 1 of My Name Is earl. Evil-X had never seen it. So I put the season 2 episode "Our Cops Is On" on. The evil humorless bitch actually laughed a few times, although it was obvious she didn't want to.

And then last night Charlie and I were at a friend's house having a few beers. When we went to leave, Charlie jumped in the driver's seat. "You're drunk", she said. So I let her drive.

She started driving crazy, spinning my tires, speeding, running stop sign. Then refused to trade places with me. I yanked the keys out of the ignition at a red light, and got out.

After much arguing I hit the "panic" button on my remote, setting off the alarm. She got over to the passenger side. The police were not amused; there were about four cop cars there. They only needed one - we have way too many cops in Springfield.

She claimed I was driving. "Give me my keys" she demanded. "They're MY keys," I corrected her. "I don't know where you got the idea that that was your car and you could order me around, but you're not getting the keys back."

The breathylizer said her BAC as .14. Mine was .091. "Half a beer less and you'd be legal", the cop said. He wasn't taking anyone to jail since it was my word against Charlie's who was driving. "But I believe you", the officer told me.

Charlie wound up walking. I had to call my daughter to drive the car home.

I'd rather have gone to jail than face my daughter!.