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That being said, it is also not worth my while to bother with the offline version of gmail since I have to o the driving.
Why? DBAN is free and can be used over and over again.
Also, I don't know when the last time you did a Linux configuration was, but it is far more simple than it was a year or two ago. I have not had any of the "massive, time-costly research" that you indicated in any of my many installs this year.
As soon as people agree that every OS sucks, we can get on with our lives and forget this petty bickering.