Nice try being hipster there. Honestly the issue with the TSA is quite overblown as of late (and even from years past). You are hearing about the extreme edge cases that affect 0.1% of passengers. Look at the number of people that get harassed while driving. Do you still drive? I'm hispanic, and have been traveling regularly since 2001 and have not had any issues. I had 1 pat down and that was quick and they did not "grab my junk". As long as you're not acting overly suspicious or nervous they'll be fine. Make eye contact with them, act like you belong there (you do) and they generally just want to do their job and get you through.
Is it security theater? Yes, to a degree, but "petite bullies", that's just going off of stories you've heard from others and have blown out of proportion.