Who cares how many? We know we're the best. Quality, not quantity, sweetie.

Long way down the road

I see what you did there, sweetie.

I dropped out of high school in 1983. I was being heavily harassed for being openly gay. I could take it no longer.

Ooooh. Couldn't take it, madam, I mean sir? Ooooh. Was it longer, sir? How about the width? Once you've had black there's no going back. So they say, sir. Ooooh!

Then I worked my ass off

Did you, sir? Ooh. Literally, sir? Was it sore, sir? Oooh. Suits you!

What's wrong with using the for free 911 service on any of the pay phones on every BART platform?

Have you seen them, sweetie? I mean, if the design was a little more clumbsy, they might have a certain, you know, ironic retro chic. But if someone saw me using on of those I'd literally die of embarrassment. Like wearing brown shoes with a black belt.

Plus, you simply don't know who might have touched them. Homeless people, linux users. Euwww, yucky yucky!

There are some jobs where size matters or a proper input matters

I'll second that, sweetie plumkin.

It'd be my pleasure.

Now bend down and open wide!

Since when do standardized tests test anything besides test taking ability?

Since you scored shit on one, probably.

Even on Slashdot, the fanboys seem to have some back-channel

Don't use phrases like that, you'll get me all excited!

"rent" and "condom" should never be used in the same sentence

Sure they should.

"If you're going with rent boys, it's best to use a condom."

Read carefully: the iPad/iPhone is NOT A GENERAL PURPOSE COMPUTER.

OK Mr clever panty-wanties, what is it then? A fashion accessory? A subcultural identity icon?

Ooooh, wait...

The iPad is a multipurpose device, not designed for anything apart from looking utterly scruptious

Talking of things that look good, can I fix anything else for you, big boy? Hmmmmmm?