Man's discussions don't do a great deal to move people to believe or disbelieve a particular thing and thus, it is not my place to try to convince you to leave Mormonism. That is the job of the Holy Spirit for it is He that leads a heart to seek God.
Since you objected to the original comment that Mormons weren't Christian, I thought I'd discuss the subject with you a bit. I'm not the A/C that started the discussion. I'm just a Christian depending on God's grace and the blood of Christ to save a wretch such as I am, and trying to do better each day - not because works will save, but because I want to do better for Him.
Works, you see, don't save. The chapter in James that you suggested I read was one I taught on a couple of weeks ago. My take is that a living creature is constantly producing new living cells. If it stops producing living cells it dies. In the same way, the body of Christ, without works. will die. The original members of the body will still be saved, but the next generation, and possibly generations to come will be lost. Thus, faith without works, ends in death of the body.
For your latest comments on spirits, actually, all I'm saying is that the verse you used 1 Pet 3:19 about spirits being preached to as a justification for saying salvation was possible after death is invalid. The spirits being preached to there were the angels identified in Jude 1:6 as being bound and indeed the very next verse in 1 Pet 3:20 and to be clear, the prison is tartarus - not sheol. The symbolic passage in 21 makes clear that it is not the water that saves in baptism, but the faith in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ - just like the water did not save the 8 at the time of Noah's flood, but the ark. It was not necessary for anyone who believed in God in the Old Testament to be baptized to be saved. Christ went to the paradise compartment of Sheol when He died, identified Himself as the promised one, and led those in paradise to heaven where they have been ever since. He didn't stop to baptize them, and they went to heaven with Him without any proxy operations by the early church.
I simply picked proxy baptisms as one of the key things that set our two religions apart. The other main thing I cited was the very nature of the God you believe in as being some super man that you might one day become. I skipped over the whole goddess concept you have. This idea of man becoming angels or gods is completely at odds with what the Bible says, and thus, even though you believe in "Christ", Christians sincerely question whether that is enough if the "Christ" you believe in is radically different than what the Bible teaches for His origin and existence.
As you are aware of the allegations and accusations, there is little point in repeating them here. Anyone interested can look up Mormonism vs. Christianity via Google and read for themselves. Some of the best references quote directly from BOM and D&C and compare in table form what the Bible says is truth or point out inconsistencies between the BOM, what is taught today via D&C, or what the later prophets of your church have changed.
The thing is, God doesn't change, and His standards don't change - as much as the world would like them to. You can't use the BOM or D&C to argue with a Christian, because we haven't accepted either as divinely inspired - precisely because of the issues many people have raised in their comparisons. If you want to convert us, you must do so using only a Christian edition of the Bible. No Christian will argue that various translations do a better or worse job of translating the original Hebrew or Greek writings than others - if you really want to argue, you have to go back to the original languages to do so. But remarkably, in the vast majority of the translations that have been done, it holds its consistency pretty well across all important theological concepts.
You are responsible for your eternal destiny. Your wife is responsible for hers. Your ancestors were responsible for theirs, but most of them have gone on and now know truth. They can't save you. Your wife can't save you. You can't save your wife. Each individual who knows about Jesus Christ must accept or reject Him and is directly responsible for his own eternal destiny. Seek Him. Study what the Bible says - cover to cover and ask the Holy Spirit to light up the truth of His word - which is the water referred to by Christ to Nicodemus in John 3.