In fact, you have a beautiful fur, but you can only eat like a mouse.
It is said that "a picture is worth a thousand words".
How much does 100 billion pictures worth ?
For example if the manager is very hands-on, goes into the details, produces proper mock-ups, flow diagrams, and everything is properly documented: This type of manager can actually accelerate the development process significantly since developers now know exactly what to do.
With this type of manager, as a programmer, you have to write exactly what he wants, and it's completely demotivating: the programmers cannot take any initiative.
A manager must be available.
Instead of mock-ups, diagrams, etc..., he/she must be available when the devs need him/her when some "obvious" feature is not written in the specs, or when to validate this or that feature.
If the manager is never available, because he/she spends his time detailing the process or spending time in meetings, his/her team will stop producing.
But again, this manager has to really know what he's doing, and have some serious programming experience in his past.
Absolutely no !
Programming and managing require quite different skills.
Managing requires to understand human nature while programming requires to understand computer's logic.
How could these be compatible ?
Let me guess: you are a managers' manager.
You prefer to work with people who make you believe that everything is predictable.
Am I right ?
Why not "Darkwin" ?
A mix between Darwin and Dark.
Start with yourself !
Sure, we agree about controlling the external reality (which leads to frustration), but what about controlling your internal reality ?
The only thing that can truely be said as your own is your thoughts and actions.
I'm still searching the "I" that you mention !
Sure, thoughts and actions appear, but what is their source ?
Also, it's easy to say that we should not expect something or judge others, but are you able to apply this for yourself ?
That is: to not expect anything from yourself and to not judge yourself ?
Are you able to surrender ?
Stockdale was impressed by stoicism, but he was a positive thinker.
His premises are wrong: "I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life,"
"I never doubted that I would get out " is positive thinking, especially when reality shows that this will be probably wrong.
"turn the experience into the defining event of my life" is also positive thinking, it's called "peak performance" in positive thinking.
While I agree with most of your post, you are wrong about the "control" over you.
Control over yourself is a dangerous belief !
For example, if I'm fat and I want to lose some weight, I can diet, because after all, it's just a matter of will.
I'll completely focus on my weight and if I notice that this doesn't work, I'll become depressed.
In fact, the real solution is to act without expecting anything (this is called selfless action).
If I have a positive return, it's unexpected so it's a nice surprise.
If I have a negative return, it's unexpected but I cannot be disappointed.
This approach is not positive thinking, because there is no expectation.
I believe that you are too focused on money. Money in itself has very little importance.
I'm quite worried by your way of thinking, because what is important is happiness, not money.
Money and happiness are completely unrelated.
As long as money flows, the capitalist system will keep surviving.
When money will stop flowing, the whole system will badly crash.
Frankly, this is something that I hope because this will force companies (not governments !) to rethink their role.
Now, we are in an era where everybody tries to reduce the costs, but there is a limit to that.
Who will buy the latest expensive gadgets if money is not redistributed ?
Also, do you really need these gadgets ?
Should you always be available to others at any given moment of your day ?
I'll give you some keys:
1) if you doubt, it means that you think too much.
You are probably obsessed by your thoughts, from what I read.
Since this is a compulsive behavior, I would suggest that you try to actively stop thinking, by practicing meditation, fishing or gardening.
2) you are so much afraid about failure that it pains me.
Probably in your past, you encountered people that were unable to cope healthily with failure (probably your parents, who wanted that you "succeed" so much).
Failure and success are the 2 sides of the same coin.
You cannot avoid any of them.
The healthy way to cope with failure is to accept it as a way to improve.
I would recommend that you try to fail small, to check whether the world disappears or not after a failure.
The real question is: what is success ?
3) "I have deep feelings for anyone who suffers or goes trough hard times."
This is bullshit. This is pity not compassion.
Most emotions are similar to thoughts.
If you stop thinking, you'll notice that fake emotions tend to disappear.
You probably try to control your emotions, which makes the whole process difficult to stand.
Try to be more "natural", in other words more sincere with your emotions.
4) I feel a lot of lack of self-confidence in your message.
Bragging about this and that shows that you are too attached to what others think about you.
You still believe that you can please them, instead of yourself.
In reality, self-confidence is detached from any external achievement.
I guess you didn't meet the correct people to help you.
Try to find somebody who can help you. Avoid charlatans and gurus. Find somebody that you feel can relate to you.
And please, try to not think too much about what I wrote: be more sincere to yourself, and your situation will likely improve.
In fact, it's more about "social success".
I wish to succeed and be recognized socially for my success, otherwise I would not have taken all these risks.
If I fail, not only will I have a negative view of myself but also others will have a negative view of me.
What do I have as solution ?
While I agree with your view about abolishing software patents, I disagree about your view that "these companies recruit developers to fix their bugs for free".
First, unless the project is widely used, the bugs are rarely fixed in open source projects, except when someone is paid to do that.
Secondly, from my experience, I know that working on an open source project increases your chances to find a job, since you both demonstrate that you know how to code, and that you can improve a collective project.
But I agree that it's a way to increase your R&D team without spending any money.
And "pipeau" (pronounced as "pipo") means "lie" in french.
It's because it adds more value to your profile, which is the source of Google's revenue.
Google would like to create its own ecosystem where you use only Google's web applications, an Internet à la Google, where they track every little action that you do.
Also, since you "subscribe" to all of their services, they can claim that their services are used by millions of people.
Agile manifesto is about organizing work.
Reactive manifesto is about designing the architecture.
With agile, architecture is not the priority since the point of view is from the project manager's side.