Whoosh! The satire went right over your head.

Given that the NSA is recording everything, and probably has broken all your encryption keys, you would think the NSA would already know who to target for employment. Thus the obvious conclusion is that these ads are fakes or honeypots.

This sounds exactly like the indulgences the Catholic church used to sell.

Mod the parent up! Just stop switching the time around at all, if people want more daylight time during the summer, just get up earlier!

This sounds like it could be a fertile subject for steampunk adaptation! Just imagine herds of cows with tanks attached. For dairy herds, when your cows come in for milking, you would also collect the accumulated methane at the same time. Cows with balloons filled with self generated methane could be flying around the skies!

I could see the intended Morse encoded message as reading
TROLLS SEND INVERTED MESSAGE
if a leading T was dropped.

??? - S E N D - I N V E R T E D - M E S S A G E perhaps?
Work around the stupid don't yell filter.

I always used to think the governor's name was Le Ptomaine, as in the bacterial poison. I found out this weekend that it was in reality Lepetomane, from the French "Le Pétomane" (fart maniac), which means "flatulist", "farteur", or "fartiste" according to the Wikipedia article.

Running a Google search on "infrared contact lens" turns up quite a few videos and sites devoted to "gambling tricks" that shows the backs of the cards are marked with rather large letters, numbers and symbols revealing which card is printed on the obverse side.

Which they like to point out on Top Gear every once in a while. I'd like to see what the Stig can do with that one around the track.

Nooooo! Think of the children!

Isn't that the normal state of affairs in many parts of the world? Why should the US be any different?

The small eastern Colorado plains town that is thinking of selling these permits != the entire state of Colorado.

Being young boys of that era (one of which I am also), you may have used the models for BB gun target practice or blew them up with fire crackers while performing your own special effects. Or possibly flew them into a simulated star (camp fire?) and watched them burn up.

Not sure what you are asking about here. Within a state, the state doesn't care if you go somewhere else with a lower municipal sales tax to make a purchase, because the state itself always gets its cut. The one exception I know of is motor vehicles, where you get hit with the tax appropriate to where you live, not where you purchased it, which is enforced because you must interact with the government apparatus to license it. Of course, tax laws being what they are, pretty much everyone is probably guilty of failing to pay some type of tax at some time or another. Businesses make decisions to locate in some states but not others due to inventory or use taxes...