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User Journal

Journal Journal: Women 1

I got married a week ago. It's an interesting sensation. I am somewhat inspired to write about what's happened lately, but it is a daunting effort to encapsulate the ten year stretch with my wife that lead up to this. Perhaps I'll make the effort someday.

Even when you're a mere shell of what you *MIGHT* be, women just "know". Some women are willing to take the stretch, some aren't. It's a gamble on their part, and every guy who is lucky enough to be the object of a good woman's gamble should count themselves lucky.

It seems to me that the average good woman is only going to go the stretch once or twice. After that, they seem to see the "work" ahead of them and just groan and move on. Perhaps some women are smarter than others and never go the stretch in the first place. I wonder what kind of guy they end up with? I wonder what it takes to make a guy who doesn't need to go the stretch? Do guys like that even exist, or is there always a "stretch" required in one form or another?

I don't know what makes a woman able to do this. However, I find the concept interesting. I'm also grateful for it. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not giving all women (or guys for that matter) a free pass. There are definitely female traits that I think we can all do without. I encountered a few of them during my portion of the "stretch" and know that my wife has a few tales of woe about me as well ;)

User Journal

Journal Journal: Last Comic Standing 1

A long time ago, in what now seems like an entirely different galaxy, I brought down the house. I mean I seriously brought down the house. In fact, I brought it down so well, I don't think I could ever repeat my performance again.

I was at a week long camp for smart kids over at Western Washington University when I was in ninth or tenth grade. The whole week we enjoyed various activities and had a lot of fun. In fact, I had more fun there, than I'd had in my entire life up to that point. Just to give you an impression on how much fun it was, on the long drive home, I announced to no one in particular that I was going to break up with my then-girlfriend. Being with all of those other smart and confident kids learning to find themselves was like discovering a whole new self. My self-esteem jumped about a million points and I became much more confident. Just the thought of going back to that same old girlfriend and same old life, that I had once enjoyed, rather depressed me. I had outgrown that old life I'd had at home in less than a week I guess...

The whole week long, my brain collected funny anecdotes and comedic exagerations of the various communal events. At the end of the week we had a chance to put on a comedic variety show. Every subgroup put on their rendition of something funny and/or entertaining. Our group put on a roaringly funny rendition of Cheech and Chongs "Sister Mary Elephant", with some of our own embellishments. Every one of us, including the actors busted up laughing. None of us could keep a straight face. Everyone had a great time.

I digress yet again... So at the end of the "variety show" the call went out for anyone who wanted to go up there and goof off or do any solo acts. During the week, I had made friends with this red headed Canadian guy who liked to use the word "Shickelgruber" a lot. Apparently, rumor had it, he'd been doing amateur comedy for a while and had even been on tv once or twice. Since I'd been saving anecdotes for some reason (I knew not why, they just stuck there in my head) and he had some real talent we decided to go up and simply have a conversation. We had no plans or scripts or anything else nor did we even intend to be funny.

To be honest, I cannot remember anything that we talked about, but whatever it was it brought down the house. Once we started talking, something in my brain switched and *I WAS ON*. I could feel a light layer of sweat on my forehead, my body warmed up a few degrees and my peripheral vision faded away. Joke after joke after joke started flowing from my mouth like water. I was on complete auto pilot and I literally couldn't have stopped even if I had tried. No matter what I did or said, it came out funny. The guy I was up there with contributed as best as he could but largely shrunk back and gave me the spotlight because he was laughing so much. Even the straight laced camp counselors were doubled over laughing.

To this very day, I don't remember any of the material that I said. Ever since, i've been sort of "on" a few times, but never like that. I've never knocked over an audience or a group of people like I did that one time. I've always had a hunger to do it again though. I love to make people laugh and I love to make myself laugh. If you ever enter a room looking for me, just listen for the loudest laugh and you'll probably fine me :)

I've got a bad feeling about this.