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Wired Writer Imagines Google Island 145

Posted by timothy
from the through-a-hazy-fog-of-snark dept.
theodp writes "The last thing Wired's Mat Honan remembered before awaking on the self-driving boat that dropped him on the island was sitting through a four-hour Google I/O keynote in Moscone Center and hearing Google CEO Larry Page promote a vision of a utopia where society could be free to innovate and experiment, unencumbered by government regulations or social norms. 'Welcome to Google Island,' a naked-save-for-a-pair-of-eyeglasses Larry Page tells Honan. 'As soon as you hit Google's territorial waters, you came under our jurisdiction, our terms of service. Our laws — or lack thereof — apply here. By boarding our self-driving boat you granted us the right to all feedback you provide during your journey. This includes the chemical composition of your sweat. Remember when I said at I/O that maybe we should set aside some small part of the world where people could experiment freely and examine the effects? I wasn't speaking theoretically. This place exists. We built it.'"

Comment: Re:2 kilometers isn't very far away. (Score 4, Insightful) 177

by cfalcon (#43677221) Attached to: Watch a Lockheed Martin Laser Destroy a Missile In Flight

"Big giants chunks of debris would be no fun, nor would it be if the missile had radioactive material and destroying it turned it into a dirty bomb."

No, that would be the BEST CASE scenario.

If the missile has radioactive material then:

1)- It is already a dirty bomb. Destroying it minimizes the damage.
2)- IT IS A NUKE. Destroying it saves likely a city.

Neither of these are likely, but you'd rather 1000 dirty bombs than one fissile warhead.

Comment: Re:The only winning move.... (Score 1) 435

by cfalcon (#43568199) Attached to: New Console Always-Online Requirements and <em>You</em>

Always on does NOTHING to combat hackers in multiplayer. You simply have the rule that if you GO ONLINE, then blah blah blah. Example: It's trivial to cheat in D2 locally, but almost impossible online.

The fact that they are fucking CONSOLES is what stops casual pirating. Hardcore pirates never give a shit, and will have just one more BIOS hack workaround.

All it does is shit all over poor people, really.

Getting rid of community modding? That's also a pretty terrible idea. In fact, your whole post really strikes me as terrible.

Comment: I think the premise is incomplete (Score 1) 629

by cfalcon (#43562791) Attached to: Why We'll Never Meet Aliens

Essentially, the point is "why would they come here"?

And there's plenty of reasons. For instance, if humanity had that level of technology, we might be concerned with with an alien race hitting some tech singularity and coming to kill us all with underdeveloped morals and overdeveloped beam weaponry- we might want to monitor, meet, or conquer to ensure that such a thing doesn't happen. An alien race could certainly have a policy of exterminating anything that is sentient or surpasses a certain tech marker (FTL drives, grey goo, or something we haven't thought of yet). Alternatively, a race could seek out sentient sufferers and seek to aid that- if humanity reaches that level of advancement, instead of sitting back with a "prime directive" mentality, we may instead move in, ameliorate, offer immortality and uploads, etc.

I suspect FTL is either impossible or has not been invented in Virgo Supercluster. It seems unlikely that we would be in the brief window of time from which it is invented until we see visible signs of such a civilization.

Comment: Re: Lose lose for prisoners (Score 1) 170

by cfalcon (#43452319) Attached to: Guantanamo Hearings Delayed as Legal Files Vanish

WAIT WAIT HOLD UP DAWG

When we had a Democrat majority Congress and a Republican President, this was a REPUBLICAN problem.
Now with a Democrat majority Senate, a Republican Majority house, and a popular two-term Democrat President.... this is a REPUBLICAN problem.

Bull. Fucking Shit. You just want to suck blue dick because you are on team blue. Get it through your head- both sides want this. If either didn't, IT WOULD NOT BE A THING!

Comment: Battery is a close thing but... (Score 1) 591

by cfalcon (#43384077) Attached to: If I could change what's "typical" about typical laptops ...

I would chose "heat dispersion". This simply HAS to be the thing that makes lappies as unreliable as a hippie's promise at a weed convention. I go through laptops at 2x the rate I go through desktops- and when I build a new desktop, it's usually because I want something new and cool. It's enhancement. When I buy a new laptop, it's because my old one shat the bed- often while I'm on travel.

In the last 10 years:

1- I built 3 computers. The last of these was triggered by a bad power supply on the second (it took me awhile to figure that out, but I was looking at computer parts even before the issue)
2- I bought a Linux Certified laptop, it broke, got a used lappie from a friend, it broke, grabbed some Best Buy laptop (it broke), got a Toshiba (it broke), got an Alienware (it had issues, but I was able to bring it back), and then got another Alienware (before I knew I could fix the first).

Toshiba I selected because at the time it and Lenovo were at the top of reliability (and Apple, which is always in a different price bracket)- but I guess I rolled snakeeyes on it or something. After it fucked up, I said fuck it, and went with Alienware- not only did I get a good deal, but I'm a gamer, so I kinda like the brand- more importantly, it comes with keyboard lights that are easy to program into a rotating rainbow, which is totally metal.

Comment: Re:This is a really tough case. (Score 1) 648

by cfalcon (#43217989) Attached to: Supreme Court Upholds First Sale Doctrine

No, I think I can get the book at that cost because that's how much it fucking costs. I don't need to be upcharged because I'm white, or American, or any other bullshit. This is simple capitalism. If the cost of the book is too high for a Thai, that's a shame. If the cost is low enough for him, that's fantastic. But that doesn't mean I need to pay more, or have some goddamned Whiteboy tax. Take your imagined privilege-industry and shove it up your ass. I'll pay the actual price for the book, thanks much.

Comment: Re:Why did this need to go to the supreme court? (Score 1) 648

by cfalcon (#43213561) Attached to: Supreme Court Upholds First Sale Doctrine

Maybe because Ginsberg fucking sucks too?

Remember the 5-4 decision saying that the government could take your house, give you a few bucks for it, and then hand the land over to someone with a business plan to build a mall? That was all "conservative" justices in the 4, with the swing siding with the "liberals" for the majority.

This should have been 9 fucking 0.

Comment: Re:Why ban in cars? (Score 0) 417

by cfalcon (#43200373) Attached to: If I could (or had to) ban texting in one place ...

"Calling to report a crash on a no-stop highway? Unless you've got a hands-free method of doing so, this is arguably dangerous enough that you're going to cause more accidents, so it is not permitted."

Only a real fucking class A moron would make that argument. It's not like you have a 25% chance of fucking crashing when you make a call. It's a tiny sub 1% thing, and if a crash has happened, people normally drive slowly around it anyway. You are sucking the dick of a bad law- I hope you like the result, because it's gonna be all over your face at the end.

In practice, everyone will ignore the law. They will call a crash in, because when it comes to medical responses, seconds matter, and 2 bit lawmakers and their willing dicksuck apologists such as yourself will just tut-tut-tut and be useless.

Just like always.

Comment: Suck on it (Score 1) 978

by cfalcon (#43131483) Attached to: Game Site Wonders 'What Next?' When 50% of Users Block Ads

Who gives a shit? We don't have to view their shitty ads. If that makes them collapse or find a new way to charge for content, great. There's not some magical genie in the sky demanding that we view overly obtrustive ads. MY computer does what I want it to do. That doesn't include trying to hawk someone's shitty wares, and it DEFINITELY doesn't include doing so in a disruptive way that abuses the fuck out of java, javascript, and flash to pop up, pop under, full screen, volumejack, and sometimes drop exploit code on my box.

"I'm doing this immoral thing, but unlike the rest of the net where adblock is rare, enough of my users are sophisticated enough to jump through the hoops because we suck Satan's dick so much. What do I do next?"

Get fucked.

Comment: Re:Triggers (Score 1) 562

by cfalcon (#43025377) Attached to: Controversy Over Violet Blue's Harm Reduction Talk

It's convenient that historically censor happy groups have finally found some fashion in which they may claim to be harmed by speech itself.

"Motif of harmful sensation" was removed from wikipedia, but now the claim is that mentioning certain topics is the equivalent of the basilisk's gaze. I'm sorry, but your right to swing your fist doesn't stop a mile away from my face because the motion triggers something in me. We can't have free speech if we assume people's psyche's are made of dust and the wind from an open mouth will cause them to blow away. Naturally, the censors have then logically produced the fact that we can no longer have free speech.

We must oppose such policies.

Comment: "Civil Rights" what an idiotic smokescreen (Score 1) 684

by cfalcon (#42899753) Attached to: Iceland Considers Internet Porn Ban

Obviously no "civil rights" are being violated. But JUST PRETEND:

What about news and reporting over people who are being abused all around the world? Should such NEWS be banned, as it clearly documents civil rights violations?
What about history books that cover past tragedies? Those were "civil rights" violations (and often much worse). Should their mention be banned?

The difference, of course, is that porn titilates the viewer. That's really all this is about. Their logic falls flat on its face, as the documentation (and pictures of) "civil rights violations" have never been subject to ANY manner of censorship (with the occasional exception of a government trying to hide what it is doing by preventing proof of it from getting out).

The idea here is that a person (presumably a man, because underlying any law like this is the assumption than men, and men's thoughts, are evil), sitting at their desk at home, is capable of injuring someone through their thoughts. Men aren't just evil in the eyes of someone writing such a law- they are evil WIZARDS!

Comment: Re:OK. Next? (Score 1) 588

by cfalcon (#42759181) Attached to: 64GB MS Surface Pro Only Has 23GB of Free Space

I'm going to echo "question of scale' guy. If your cigarette habit was two packs a month, you'd be fine. It took years to correlate smoking with all the bad things it is correlated with, and that's not at two packs a month. A cannabis smoker doesn't have these issues because he smokes so damned little compared to the nichead.

One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.

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